The Escapist Adventures

Sumunabitch

2009-04-13T03:33:00.000-07:00

Damn tiny country, if I hit my head one more time I'm going to start wearing a helmet.

looking for advil,
me.

It's my birthday! I'm 27 years, 364 days, and some odd hours.

2009-04-13T01:58:00.000-07:00

First, I must say, Osaka is a blast. Imagine Blade Runner, mixed with... deep ellum? mixed with... well I guess we should throw Japan in there.
This picture says it all:

We were lucky to stay right near the entertainment area of town, which made for some short walks.

So if a genie appeared to me, and he said you could have one birthday wish, and he said it couldn't be impossible weatlh, power, or a personal harem... I think my wish would have to be to go to the ninja musuem.

The demonstrations were pretty sweet, and I managed to capture some mid-air shyruken attacks, but by far the coolest was the Ninja house tour. They had a rebuilt ninja house that included all the trap doors, passages, and other ninja-architecture you read about in books. (ok, that I read about in books... maybe you should try reading some ninja books)
Ueno Castle!

Small kids to teenagers were decked out in a rainbow of ninja suits.

Once we got back to town we hit up a little corner place for soba. They use machines here for so much, including the subway and sometimes even ordering food. We chose our food on the machine, and then it gave us a number and a guy brought out our food. Pretty damn sweet.

Speaking of which, I haven't received the wrong order once in my entire time here! And I don't speak the language! It is shocking how dumb some Americans are.

After dinner, we hit up Murphy's Irish Pub. To begin with, it brings me great joy that I can find an Irish pub everywhere I go. We hit one up in both Osaka and Kyoto. There are so many in Tokyo I don't know how to choose where to go! This pub rocked and was probably the Irishest pub I've been to so far. For those familiar with Dallas, this was of the Dubliner variety except in the sky! It was my first pub to visit on the 6th floor of a building. Upon our arrival they had a Japanese band playing early American rock standards. Later in the evening (oh, they stayed open until 4) we talked with the bartenders (all Irish) and drank the night away. Good craic.

slainte,
me

Trains

2009-04-12T21:17:00.000-07:00

Trains

so crowded
people march like ants
I too,
stare at white people

A new adventure

2009-04-12T21:08:00.000-07:00

Ok, so maybe the recounting of the cross southwest america/Tahoe road trip will come later, maybe it won't. No more promises. Photography has become another very time consuming interest and has been winning the battle for my affection lately over writing. This must be how parents feel when they have one smart kid and one pretty kid.

For now though, I am on a new adventure to the far east! I'll retroactively recount the first half, and then push forward from there.

Japan blog here I come!

It's Peanut butter Picture Time, Peanut butter picture Time!

2009-01-20T17:30:00.000-08:00

It's Peanut butter Picture Time, Peanut butter picture Time!

where yat? where yat? where yat? where yat?
now der y'go. now... oh, hello there friend, welcome to another logging upon this here intarweb. Soon a brief recounting shall take place of the longest coldest drive of my life (that's quite factual in case you were wondering) but the road trip post will have to wait. I must complete picture promises post haste. (teehee consonance)

Without further ado, Pictures!!
I know, I am very very late on these, but here is everything going back to Halloween. If you want full resolution ones let me know and we'll figure something out. If you've never used Picasa before, the photos are pretty heavily tagged (but definitely not complete!) so you can search for things.

http://picasaweb.google.com/michaelscarpenter/Halloween2008
I'm pretty sure this was the best night of 2008. (And 2009 so far) God help me I don't know what my tongue was doing in a bunch of these pictures. But to all the k-9s who are fans of my adventures and reading now I promise I meant no disregard and after deep soul searching I realize how insensitive my behavior was. You must know that I was not making fun of any particular group of mammals. Bear, I'm sorry bud.

http://picasaweb.google.com/michaelscarpenter/RandomDecember2008
These pictures are random photos... from December. Last year.
Included:
- A few shots of the new Londoner (which I adore on the week days, weekends are a little too Affliction-t-shirty for me.).
- Some shots from my balcony.
- Rachem’s cats
- UTD's Mermaid building, aka the School of NatSci. If you haven't seen this gorgeous thing check out the pictures!

http://picasaweb.google.com/michaelscarpenter/CarBreakIn
So, I debated whether to put these up here. I mean, they are so graphic. Surely even free speech has its limits? But people need to know. Baby rhino rape is the number 1 growing sex crime against herding animals in America today! Wake up people, this isn't just cows and sheep anymore, this is baby rhinos. Your baby rhino. So tragic.

http://picasaweb.google.com/michaelscarpenter/WhiteRockMarathon2008
GO CROW GO!!!!

http://picasaweb.google.com/michaelscarpenter/RachelsGraduation
Rachel’s graduation!

Huh? oh no, no witty remark, no clever jab. Mostly because I'm still dumbfounded it finally happened. (iluvuucompleteme rachel)

http://picasaweb.google.com/michaelscarpenter/ChristmasDay2008
This album might confuse people on a few levels.
First, because I love Croissant sandwiches dammit! Get off my case. If you knew how delicious they were you would take photos too. (Glad I didn't upload all 25 croissant shots)
Secondly, "Why is all this christmasin goin on, and then suddenly we have pictures of trees, and inanimate turtles?" Well you see dear reader I may have not taken photos of the beer (or nine) between that last croissant shot and me, rolling in the leaves, taking pictures of the trees. It's not my fault they smell like Caddy.

http://picasaweb.google.com/michaelscarpenter/Tahoe2008RoadTrip
I took some 4 Gigs of photos on the Tahoe road trip. Of those 1000 plus photos I've distilled them down to 168 of the good ones. Enjoy :)

Sincerely,
yo.

A Colbert Christmas

2008-11-27T21:31:00.000-08:00

-=NoBearsZone=-
An

Instant

Classic.

Any ladies care to channel the holiday spirit and procreate? I'm jonesing for some rugrats to one-day gather on the... rug... around the warm glow of my 198" lcd-a tv screen (the a stands for awesome) and show them the true spirit of Christmas. The Colbert spirit.
-=NoBearsZone=-

me.
p.s. This isn't really a blog, it's just a goat wearing a typeface!

And I'm back...

2008-11-22T21:57:00.000-08:00

Wow... 64 Posts from before... that seems like a lifetime ago. Rachems and I recently and seperately perused some of the classics and I must say, I'm awesome. :-D If you're waiting on Halloween pictures, they'll be up before the 3rd of December I promise! I'll probably post them really soon just as select pictures and follow it up with tales of wowzers and wonderments at a micro-later date. Heheh, micro-later... sounds like microwaver. Hrm... where was I,,,, ah! Yes, so Halloween post will be retroacting itself here within the next fortnight. But for tonight, hmm, perhaps a curious thought. Many thoughts of hilarity are sure to abound this digital space in the future, so I thought I'd start on a slower note. It's always good to build, at least that's what they taught me in sex camp. Do you ever sit in a bar and wonder about the people around you? Who are they? What are they about? I want to start just asking strangers 30 questions whenever I meet them. I'll be happy to accept contributed questions btw. I can't help but think, "Maybe a soul mate (you're a fool if you believe in just one) is in this room. Or were in a room once... just 10 ft away." I've resolved myself to exploring people more. It's a big world out there, 'there' of course being a small room at a bar.

To quote a dear friend, "I know this New Year will be full of all things wonderful for you if you keep your eyes & heart open."
Indubidibly,
me.

References to my awesomeness...
http://escapismc.blogspot.com/2006/03/dont-cry-whitman-its-ok.html
http://escapismc.blogspot.com/2006/05/if-my-weekend-was-in-cock-fight-with.html
http://escapismc.blogspot.com/2006/06/kiss-me-im-socially-acceptable.html

Cool old link I found in old posts (my first web page :-D)
http://www.geocities.com/TelevisionCity/5572/index.html

dum Dum DUM

2007-04-11T17:54:00.000-07:00

It's been a while... stay tuned my adoring public.

dammit to hell

2006-07-09T13:49:00.000-07:00

fucking italy.
this is a dark dark day for mankind

with nietszche-worthy nialism,
me.

Kiss Me: I'm socially acceptable.

2006-06-27T17:52:00.000-07:00

So, I figured this time I'd try a post with a little less de La Copa Mundial. You american heathens aren't getting off completely, but I'll try to color it with stories and Carponian tomfollery... or carpfoolery. So ultimate is going great. This week I decided to goto the big boy(and girl) field, much to the chagrin of my shins. Boy were they pissed and crying like a little anime kid... the disc was pissed too, because you get real throws and real catches on the big field and my disc was warped (aka taco'd) and out of the game by the third point. Notto mention my hands were blubbering retarded dropping some passes, and... well it really just looked like this:

But it was all good cause my soul looked like this:

I can't wait till I get back in shape and to top form.

So our washer is a bit under the weather so I did laundry at a laundromat the other day. This was the coolest place ever, the guy there was wearing corderoy pants and a flarey polyesterish shirt, the place had fiberglass chairs everywhere, and get this: pac-man, frogger, and a host of other classic original arcade games. It was like walking into the seventies and had I known I would have brought more quarters and some fro gel. Unfotunately I didn't so instead I began to reread the Alchemist. If you've never read this book, I can't recommend it enough it is such a great book and ranks as one of my favoritest ever.

"and when each day is the same as the next, it's because people fail to recognize the good things that happen in their lives every day that the sun rises."

So saturday night I accompanied ms crow and la tesla to tim's place for some Malibu Most Wanted viewing and curry eating. Afterwards we flipped the switch and hit up the Amsterdam first instead of as the usual evening closer. Yup there was some speedball sexyness going on, people were going both ways with youngs and guiness, it was practically a speedballorgy. Man I love the lights there, I can't wait to get a house and eclecticize the living crap out of it. It'll be like a test, you'll either fall in love with the place or fail miserably by way of vomiting before you can even get past the entry way. I'll still love you though because I'm almost certain my mom will fail and I have to still love her (though after yesterday's conversation we'll see, more to come...) so everyone else will get a by too. On our way to Slipp Inn we decided to stop in at the Monkey Bar which is a pretty chill place. The best I can describe this is imagine if you took a tikki bar and combined it with an ultralounge... bear with me... and then added some eclectic 'trendy dive bar' music/mixing. After that we hit up the Slipp Inn and jeebus was it packed. I think that was the most packed I've ever seen the place, and it was balls hot. Also our crazy bartender who's given free drinks to women ordering double scotches for it being 'so hot', examined my torn pieces of napkin balls to see if they were snortable, and generally pours great was MIA. There was also a preponderance of 'crunk' hiphop compared to normal. Despirte all this it was still a good time. This, kiddos, is the magic of the Slipp Inn.

Post slipp in, I had a great time getting lost in the knox-henderson neighborhoods with jenn. I can't stress enough how much I love all those old houses. I'll eventually make a post about it I'm sure...

England 1 - Ecuador 0

SO, Sunday morning, quite hung over, on give or take 3-4 hours of sleep, jenn and I hit up the England game at the londoner at a cheery-0 9:30am with standing room only. But what a game it was, with a bender by beckham on a penalty kick outside the box to take the game. Having had 4 guinesseseses during the game (gogo gadget drunk before noon) I found myself strangely free of my hangover and headed to Tool's place since Justin was in town. After watching some UFC, we checked out Click. I'm not going to lie, even despite my great enjoyment of happy-madison productions that actually include happy-madison himself, I was quite reluctant to see this movie. I knew it would be a wonderful life redux from the get-go, but maybe with hallucinatory penguins or characters missing body parts. Instead I was treated to a strong movie that captured the raw emotional crisis that made Wonderful Life so great. Don't get me wrong, this isn't Punch Drunk Love and is still a funny movie with some sandlerisms, but for the scenes that count adam sandler does a good dramatic job.

Then I went to sushi with rachems. $2 dolla make he holla. Not really, cause I'm stuffing my mouth with cheap sushi, but it certainly makes me mumble enthusiasticly.

Monday I cried as Italy flopped their way into the next round and sent australia home. (fuckin pussy italians) and went to the laundry as reported above. (and saw a DB9 next door, in garland!)

Ghana sadly was eleminated today, but they played an incredible game against Brazil. Though the score was 3-0, two of those points were on seriously questionable offsides calls and Ghana frequently dominated play throughout the game. Being a smaller draw than the US and England games, Jenn and I got the chance to view the game on the 96" HD. I... I don't know how to describe... I mean, there's so many words really, just look at the A's alone: awesome, amazing, artful... arrousing. Finely defined video turn me on, big deal. I'm going to have to seriously resist the HD bug once my job starts.

So after I got home from the game, my mom who had jury duty came home with lunch. As we sat there watching 70's reruns from the gameshow network my mom decided to nosey over into the land of the Carp. After a few beating around the bush questions, she inquired to my girl situation. Enjoying greatly toying with her silly curiosity I monosyllabicly answered her questions without my eyes leaving the TV. After about a minute of a silence she finally asks, "So that's it? You're not even going to throw me a crumb are you?" Well not to avoid a good imagery joke I had to answer with, "It's been so long since I've made out with someone, nevermind had sex or a relationship, there are no crumbs, this is a famine. If there was a crumb I'd soak it in water and suck the flavor'd juice back out, let it dry then soak it again" To which she replied exasperatedly, "*exasperated short sigh* you know, it just doesn't make sense, I mean you're cute... and socially acceptable." But you know, a mother's love is always biased.

With that I present my newest t-shirt design, and the first to be based on reality. (I know, I had hoped the StarSex would have been real by now too, but alas NASA isn't returning my phonecalls.) A hybrid of the time honor'd (and personal favorites) "Kiss me I'm Irish", and "My mom says I'm cool". Without further ado:

acceptably social,
me.

well.... ...... fuck.

2006-06-22T10:20:00.000-07:00

I'm not going to lie, its been a rough couple days. Normally being drunk before noon would cheer me up from anything, its why I keep a secret bottle of scotch for the apocalypse, but its just not working today. So... Mav's lost the series to the Heat in game 6, and then today the US was knocked out by Ghana. The thing is, bad officiating cost us in both series the points that resulted in our colletive elemination. Note I pay close attention to my choice of verbage, the Heat, Italy, Ghana, none of them should have had a chance and yet we played horrible and created the razor thin margin that one bad call could change the outcome. Bad calls may have given the crucial points, but why were there crucial points? Because we lost out right not by calls or skill but in spirit. Dirk was shut down by double and triple teams, that means our other guys have to step up and instead they threw an insane number of bricks, and even worse air balls. People can bitch about Wade and fouls all day, but he could shoot a hundred foul shots, if we had made even half our field shots we would have destroyed the Heat. Same with the USA, Ghana proved their merit in a hard fought match, meanwhile Donovan was practicly uninvolved in the Whole Cup. Arena also made some questionable calls about line up. I will say this though, McBride played great in all his games. The fact that he still has such tenacity after all these years is quite admirable. Also great job to Olsen. I hate when first stringers are playing bad and get replaced by first string alternatives who play the same way. From the second Olsen stepped on the field for reyna today he did nothing but kick ass all game. Defense and offense he was all over the place providing a back bone for the team to build on. Which to me is the greatest thing a midfielder can provide a team.

Congratulations to the Heat you played well and never gave up even in the face of defeat.

Good luck to Ghana, show the world what africa is made of. You've beat two of the top five teams in the world by one simple method: heart.

Italy.... fuck you and your vespas and canelloni. I hope our mates down under crush you.

with luck to ghana,
me.

THE Cup

2006-06-09T09:31:00.000-07:00

GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL
LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL
LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It has begun.

viva futbol,
mi.

on discs and fleas

2006-06-09T06:32:00.000-07:00

So... as of late I've been pretty bored. Aside from hanging out with tool during his job transition I haven't had anything to do, which can be rather maddening. GRAW at tool's and rewatching Entourage (new season sunday!) had been the only things keeping me sane. At least until this week when I jumped back into ultimate, and fook have I missed it. Between that and working out each morning I've caught the endorphin bug and it feels good.

Speaking of bugs, I'd like to officially announce my triumph over the fleas. It was a hairy battle, I strove onward early with decisive victories in the outer realms of backyardia and the democratic republic of frontyardgo, but suffered crushing defeat at the first battle of insideloo. The carpet proved too formidable of a terrain for my miserly 3-bottle fogger army. With the chips down, and fleas biting I reached deep inside myself and found the magic, the constitution of heros within. The power to crush the flea army courtesy of 8 Raid fogger bottles. There's a reason las cucarachas always cried and then exploded into penciled dust in those 80s cartoon commercials. Go Raid or go home. It was flea armageddon, and as I stood over their bastard corpses I screamed, "mess with the best, die like the rest you jumpy bitches!". Then I apologized to carpet for spitting on him, but he was cool about it. Carpet's so fuckin chill. (what? so I'm so bored I've befriended the carpet, you want to fight about it?)

I've missed ultimate so much. I really didn't realize it till I was back out there playing. I feel so content and calm, almost zen-like, when I'm out there and I'm glad to be back in it.

high on endorphins,
me.

Holy Shit he got a job.

2006-05-29T10:01:00.000-07:00

Since I don't want to palgerize I should give credit where credit is due, the title is actually a quote from my dad. And if you paid attention to your Iowa testing as a kid, you'd be able to infer that yes, I am now officially employed. :) Well, minus the pay cause I don't technically start until July. Another month of being poor, yes. But I am use to being poor by this point, so its no big deal. Maybe I could write a book like that McCourt fellow, Carp's Tassles, about stripping for money and selling my pride. Sorry? The book wasn't called Angela's Ass's? Ashes... why would he name it..? Oh. So that's not what he wrote about? they moved where? and died of what? I see... So maybe I'm not actually poor, but I still think I could write a damn good book about stripping. Ofcourse, like any good author I'd need to do research... ladies I'll post a sign up sheet shortly. Things to ponder... so yes, I got a job with a sweet company and I ship out to Seattle at the beggining of July, for some wicked training.

I had an awesome time hanging out with the rachems and ms crow for the MavericksVSpurs series. It was a nail biter, as it would seem most maverick games are but we pulled it out in the end. Lo siento jenn. For sports games, McKinney Avenue Tavern is the schwizzle. The crowd was by far the most involved and fun yet for a game night. Last night's game against the suns was awesome! Our turnoverization of the Suns totally turned it around in the second half. I spent most of the spurs series, and even the early sun games wishing we could shoot threes. But I've come to accept my red-headed step childen as the pick&go short shotters they are, it works for them so it works for me.

I may have mentioned this before, but I love the Slip Inn. The music is hot, the bartenders fun, the booths are sweet, but it really comes down to something less tangible. An essence that is the byproduct of something quite tangible, the rules:

I think that says it all.

So, before we get to the finale I thought I'd lay some Matisyahu wisdom. If you haven't yet, check out his Live at Stubb's album.

Strip away the layers and reveal your soul
Got to give yourself up and then you become whole
You're a slave to yourself and you don't even know
You want to live the fast life but your brain moves slow
If you're trying to stay high then you're bound to stay low
You want God but you can't deflate your ego

The Wedding...

Congratulations are in order for Mr.&Mrs. Rashidi.

I've been to my fair share of weddings, always the bridesmaid never the bride, (thank god... on so many levels) and I can honestly say that Paul & Melissa are really great together. I couldn't be more happy for them. Their wedding was awesome! First it was at St. Elzabeth Ann Seton Catholic Church. This church is incredible: stone, arched cielings with paintings, murals on the walls, stained glass everywhere, etc. A very nice backdrop for a wonderful wedding. The reception was held at the Mariott near by and I have to say that was one of the coolest receptions I've ever been to. Instead of just having a DJ or a wedding band, they had a MC who 'ran' the reception. The way the events flowed together, the energy in the room, etc was all sweet and is a very cool idea for a wedding.

So... pictures:
The arrival...

Ofcourse, it wouldn't be a blog post de la Carp if it didn't have: sexy ladies.

Group hug!

Last dance... Last dance.... for loooooooove:

Since the invention of the kiss there have been five kisses....

ahhh, *tear*
me.

p.s. I copyright the term Angela's Ass's and its use for any and all pornographic works. I'm rich beeyatch.

the heart of life is good.

2006-05-14T18:37:00.000-07:00

So courtesy of ElBlacko, I acquired a 'stealth performance' by John Mayer (where the billing was done under a different name and then posted last minute) to preview some of his material for his upcoming album Continuum. For some reason a lot of people write him off, mostly because they never even listened to much of his music. Clearly not being one of those people I kind of sat on the album before posting (or that 'talking about' thing you HUUMAWNS do with each other) because to me his music is frequently raw life, pulling directly from love, angst, fear, hope, etc, albeit with killer word choice, transcribed in song. Before really finding my ideas about the new songs I had to live a bit with them. Now that I have, to me this is some of his best yet. See lines below, full lyrics here.

Trust Myself

hold on to whatever you find baby
hold on to whatever will get you through
hold on to whatever you find baby
i dont trust myself with lovin you

I will beg myself into your garden
then I'll break my way out when it rains
just to get back to the place where i started
so i can want you back all over again

Waiting on the World to Change

now if we had the power
to bring our neighbors home from war
they would have never missed a Christmas
no more ribbons on their door
and when you trust your television
what you get is what you got
cause when they own the information, oh
they can bend it all they want

Slow Dancing in a Burning Room

It's not a silly little moment
It's not the storm before the calm
This is the deep and dyin breath of
this love we've been workin on
Can't seem to hold you like I want to
so I can feel you in my arms
Nobody's gonna come and save you
we pulled to many false alarms

We're goin down
and you can see it too
We're goin down
and you know that we're doomed
my dear
we're slow dancing in a burnin room

Dreaming with a Broken Heart

When you're dreamin with a broken heart
The wakin is the hardest part
you roll outta bed and down on your knees
and for a moment you can hardly breath

wonderin was she really here
is she standin in my room
no she's not, cuz she's
gone gone gone gone gone

Stop this Train

Don't know how else to say it
dont wanna see my parents go
one generations length away from
findin life out on my own

Come on Stop this train
I wanna get off and go home
again
cant take the speed
it's movin in
I know i cant
but honestly wont someone
stop this train

In Repair

Too many shadows in my room
too many hours in this midnight
too many corners in my mind
so much to do to set my heart right

Oh its taking to long
i could be wrong
i could be ready
Oh but if I take my heart's advice
I should assume, it's still unsteady
I am in repair

Another You

I'm gonna sing my way away from blue
I'm gonna find another you

When I was your lover
No one else would do
If I'm forced to find another
I hope she looks like you
and shes nicer too

Since I love this song so much, I'll post its entirety.
The Heart of Life

I hate to see you cry
Lying there in that position
There's things you need to hear
so turn off your tears
and listen

Pain throws your heart to the ground
love turns the whole thing around
no it wont all go the way
it should
but I know the heart of life is good

You know it's nothin new
bad news never had good timing
then the circle of your friends
will defend the silver lining

Pain throws your heart to the ground
love turns the whole thing around
fear is a friend who is
misunderstood
but I know the heart of life is good
I know its good, i know its good
oh i know its good

oh i do i do i do

oh i know its good

rockin my soundtrack,
me.

bonus from his John Mayer Trio material:
Try! (aka the Ultra elBlacko&McWhiteyton soundtrack song)

Takes four days to get to like me
But two to wanna leave
But the part that really gets me
Are all the moments in between
Now I lie to get a little
And laugh at every little thing
She's high on information
But now I'm low on self-esteem

So I'm gonna try (try)
I'm gonna try (try)
Gonna try to be myself
Although myself will wonder why
I'm gonna try (try)
I'm gonna try (try)
Gonna try to be myself this time

I'm a hundred kinds of crazy
But I only wanna find
One sweet little angel
Who's gonna let me speak my mind
All I ever do these days
Is dumb my process down
She's making her decision
But now I'm losing all my ground

So I'm gonna try (try)

If my weekend was in a cock fight with your weekend it'd gouge your weekends eyes out with its claws and feast on its souls robot chicken style.

2006-05-01T13:44:00.000-07:00

This past week(end) was awesome. I paid for it greatly with a 40 minute raging charlie horse at like 6am this morning that I can still feel ghosts of in my head, but the price you pay when you carry the burden of having so much fun.

So now young children we'll take a journey, to a time long ago in the ye olden days of thursday. Rachems had finished her finals and so in the time true tradition of finalslochmasikuh (once a pagan holiday celebrating the grape harvest adapated by the Jews as a celebration of the mechanical pencil that had one cm piece left but miracilously lasted through the entire MCATs for the King Jacob... really just a boy from the bronx with a grandiose '80s hiphop alter-ego, and also adopted by the Church as Jesus' passing his water walking exam) we ventured forth to drink. What better place to celebrate such a solemn holiday than the Old Monk. Not only does the awesome miss jenn work there, always a plus, but they have great beer and liquor, awesome patios, and assuming the weathers nice (thus enabling the patio function) not too crowded. Being on knox it also misses the bulk of the stripeyshirtguy (© theJenn LLC) collective of uptown. Kristen, et al. also joined us, and it was good to see James and Lilian. Now, this is the point that if you're under 17 you best lock your door so your parents don't catch you..... err, I mean stop reading. I have a confession, I want to have sweet sexy raunchy sex with Chocalate Truffles. MMmmmmm trufflesex. Wha? You know not of the sexufied Truffles? My dear lads and lasses, the Chocolate Truffles sexyness is unparalleled, it would literally destroy our silly little planet (if sherman -williams doesn't do it first... more on that to come) were it not kept in balance by the Magic of Speedballs. The Chocolate Truffle is no other than Young's Double Chocolate Stout, mixed with Lindemans Framboise Lambic. And get this, it tastes like chocolate rasberry truffles! Oh but wait, its dark and to the untrained eye that can't detect the faint purple tint it looks like your drinking a guiness! That's right on the outside you can look like a maucho stout drinking badass, while on the inside your soul gets to skip like a lilly school girl through fields of metaphorical daisies while singing your favoritest musicals. Once Jenn was cut, a smaller cadre of us hit up the Dubliner for a last round of drinks. Like the Old Monk misses a bulk of the uptown crowd, the Dubliner's location misses a nice bit of the greenville crowd, and made for a chill night cap of scotch and drunk irish guys singing songs.

Friday was fairly uneventful, hung out with the rents, took a few naps, and then visisted rachel at the addison humperdinks. The End.

Saturday began with pizza at Fireside Pies. To be truthful saturday began weeks ealier somewhere in the atlantic that brought such stellar gorgeous weather. Riding down to knox, with the sunroof open, and listening to Prairie Home Companion there's only one word for it: Shibby. Even trying to find a parkingspot couldn't bring me down. I did find a spot eventually, in the sherman-williams parking lot. Put aside your davinci code, forget about your illuminati conspiracies, I've got the real deal: Sherman-williams is trying to take over the world.
Exhibit A)

Exhibit B) Do I really need an exhibit B? Look at it! They want to cover the earth with their red red 'paint'. Quickly! Fetch your foil hats, its your only chance. Check my blog for updates to this conspiracy (or I'll just get lazy like I did with the whole duck car conspiracy.... besides ignorance is bliss). After a brief interlude, I met up with rachems and jenn at the Gingerman where we had a beer out back. We then stopped by the Idle and had some carbombs with Stevie since she was bartending. After that we took off to the Slip Inn. I drove by myself and was running a bit behind rachel and jenn, as I walked to the door I did my patented pocket pat (teehee gogogadget consonance) and my heart sunk. fat square (wallet), little square (razr), multisquare(camera), pokies... pokes? where are the keys? And with that I realized I had just locked my keys in the car. In my frustration with Slip Inn parking I had left my keys on the seat, after talking shit about parking earlier not getting me down it had taken its bloody revenge when I had my back turned. After falling to my knees and shaking my fists in rage at the sky screaming "damn you parking" I set out to find a locksmith. Locksmithing is a curious buisness. I took me about 13 calls before I found a reputable sounding locksmith, one of my favorites was about call seven when a gruff voice answered the phone and I asked, "is this the locksmith?" and he answered, "depends" at which point I figured it best I hang up. So I ordered via text message a double scotch on the rocks while I waited, which rachel evidently got for free because of how hot it was a girl ordering a double scotch on the rocks. It was just like the beer commmercial! So the guys come, open my door in like 30 seconds (I need me some disreputable skills) and I had my keys back. I wasn't sure if rachel had gotten my scotch so I went ahead and ordered a double as I passed the bar, then made my way to the back to find Rachel and Jenn. As I settled into the booth, double fisting doubles of scotch, one free by way of hotness, in a dark club with a great DJ, sitting with two beautiful ladies a small grin crept upon my face as I thought, "Your powers are no match for my own, you will never beat me Parking, never."

Sushday, as I've renamed Sundays due to the awesome special on Sushi at Cafe Japon was the cap of a great weekend. I went to sushi with kristen, steve, nadia and ElBlacko. Sushi was good and cheap per the norm. Afterwards McWhiteyton(me), ElBlacko and the Todd headed to the gypsy for an incredible concert. Joined by mark, the opening act played. Usually I'd make a pro or negative comment about the opening act, but honestly energy must be put into the Martin portion, so he was Trevor Hall, chech him out.
Martin Sexton was fooking sweet. It was great that he was back over in the Tea Room instead of in the bloody Ballroom. Not only does the Tea Room have way less random drunk jackasses, its small venue allows for a more intimate with a direct connection with the audience. Also since he was headlining, he had a much longer set and more freedom in his songs. The concert was truly incredible, possibly due to having family present he played more at ease and open than at the last concert. Like always his infinitibillion octives, voice-replicated instrumentals, call-and-repeat with the audience, and incredible guitar skills floored me. If I had to come up with one word to describe the performance it'd have to be soulfolkincarnate. If I were a wordsmith I might be able to really capture the pefromance... but I'm not, I'm a nerd... so I captured it digitally!

Don't want you to pull a muscle having a songasm, so we'll warm up with some pictures...

The Things You Do to Me...

In the Journey...

Rock on.

using the lightside of the Force to trump Emperor Parkingtine since 1997,
me.

musings

2006-04-17T21:38:00.000-07:00

I feel there are two types of countries, at least in the >3rd world, consensers and fuckoffians. The first category, with places like Canada, UK, Germany, India and others that seem to hold some common principles, and a general disposition. Not to downplay both internal and external political turmoil, but compared to the fuckoffians they seem to have a meditation about them when it comes to society locally (albeit viewed through my limited knowledge) and on the global stage. Fuckoffians on the other hand, the french, ourselves (US), Russia, a good handful of arab nations, and depending on the day China (if they had a freer {is that a word?} political system I think they'd be more fuckoffian) are the complete and utter opposite. There's never a consensus, or reasoned thought but rather opposiding sides interanlly or opposing other fuckoffians externally at far extremes that don't make the least bit of sense.

For example, take immirgration in the US. You can't fucking declare 10-15 million people as felons in our current economic state, especially when they hold a huge place in the essential work force. I'm sorry no one listened to the southwest for the past 15 years, but the nation as a whole chose to ignore the problem (because it was only texas->california's problem) and now that has bit them in the ass. The simple fact of the matter is they ignored the problem, and now you have this huge population, most of whom work in valuable jobs, contribute to this society, and are good people who we allowed to come here and make a better life for themselves. Calling them criminals is rediculous. I'm not picking a side mind you, fuckoffians can't be fuckoffians without other fuckoffians to fuckoffy against, case in point the 'protesters'. People keep prattling on about how impressive it was that the hispanic community mobilized, and showed that they are a force to be reckoned with in washington. There's nothing impressive about it, and honestly its an insult to the civil rights movement 50 years ago, the italian/irish/E.euro labor movement a hundred years ago, the womens liberation movement, basically all the serious movements that have been against oppression and for the dignity and rights found in our constitution. A) You don't count cause you don't have a vote, and the opinion against your cause is overwhelming. This is the first thing both parties have agreed on in a really long time. B) You are not entitled to citizenship. Human dignity and humane treatment doesn't include a free pass into the country. It means you're treated well as your shipped back home and the idea that people are trying to dictate otherwise is rediculous. C) Protests without education, without a point, are just mobs and they sure as hell don't get my respect. I saw countless 'students' 'protesting' who didn't have a clue what the issue was. When interviewed they said rediculous things about 'down with Bush' who actually is there best chance at getting any support. They carried Mexican flags, failed to show up to any rallys or townhalls that didn't involve skipping school, and generally showed their true colors: red, white, green and fuckoffian.

The solution is simple, if this was canada (I'm hyperbolizing here) they would be like, "Look, we made a mistake, so we need to incorporate these people into our society, including as tax revenue, and ensure that they are assimilated, including speaking our language, and participating in our political and educational systems but then we need to refocus and adhere to the principals of our nation and get immigration back on the track that we as Canadians think is right... eh?" But instead we got fuckoffians, "Throw them in jail!" "We have a right to be here!"

France is no better. The retardicon nation has no youth employment. (22% unemployment) The reason they could all protest is they didn't have any damn jobs. Now they protest a law designed to encourage youth hires, to fuel a stagnating socialistical (if thats not a word it should be) society (marx and lennon you can suck my nuts ya dumb bastards)*** and the unemployed youth revolt. How dare they take away their unquestionable job security of the jobs... they don't... have. So Chirac comes up with a compromise, fair to both sides, right down the middle and he is virtually hung in public by all. By the way, that's another symptom of fuckoffian societies, voices of reason are pretty much synonymous with maurder... except without the cause... what do you call a maurder without a cause? oh yeah, chump.

As a person who's easy going, and idealistic fuckoffianism makes me sick. Chump or not, the voice of reason will always get my vote and support.

fuckoffy it all,
me.

*** Have you ever read the Communist Manifesto? Talk about a load of horsepoo. Maybe I have a century worth of history clouding my judgement but how could anyone have ever thought that garbage would succeed?

rush induced rambles

2006-04-01T18:46:00.000-08:00

Contingent Offers of Doom, well what can I say, they suck. It would seem in the consulting world you're offered a contingent offer which is like a job offer, in that they offer you everything except a start date. Then you're floated to clients until someone decides to hire you, which could be a week, a month or never. So I guess Monday I redouble my efforts on seeking other positions and hope for the best.
Its that day again, and google in good spirit has once again came through with google romance. My favorite however is Ars-Technica's game review of none other than Duke Nukem Forever. Why did it take so long? DNF has been rewritten as an AJAX application on Ruby it will run on any platform in your web browser. ;)

Since I really don't do much, my fools day was pretty uneventful. Last night on the other hand was awesome. We started at the Idle Rich, then went back to addison, then back to idle rich to wait for some people to get off work at IR. From there it was to a sushi place down on greenville across from El Cabana, in which all men present were named Mike. Being shoddy on names, this was sweet. The place is pretty damn good, but like any Sushi place on greenville it aint cheap. After that we ended our drinking at the Dubliner. Rachems was a bum and bailed after, but Jenn, Stevie, Mike and myself went to the Richardson Cafe Brazil. Aside from Patties I can't remember such a long night, gootdimes.

If you get a chance check out The Loop. It's not the best comedy ever, but it does have a youth-oriented humor that most sitcoms on TV severly lack. Besides the plethora of great words for unfortuante situations to add to your vernacular are woth the effort alone.

Finally, if you enjoy books of the LotR and Harry Potter variety check our Eragon. An incredible book that walks the line of coming of age tale of HP and sweeping epic of LotR. Did I mention it has dragons?

So, I gave up caffeine last week and I came to one quick and resonatingly clear conclusion: Frapjackets... jackballs? Well dammit I told you 2 paragraphs ago to watch The Loop, I'm hardly responsible if you're not caught up yet. Anywho... it foooookin blows. I love caffeine. While I realize that my over dependence on caffeine needs curtailing, giving it up is nuts. If you saved puppies and kittens while feeding the homeless a little too much that you had a desire to do it each day you woke up would you walk away for good? from puppies? and hobos? NO! You'd stare the hobos and puppies in the eye and say, "I will destroy you!!!!" So I'm back to drinking caffeine, albeit not by the 12pack. This is a dark dark day for humanity indeed.

with a hard on for C8H10N4O2,
me.

Don't cry whitman, it's ok

2006-03-01T15:04:00.000-08:00

O Date Movie! my Date Movie! our fearful trip is done;
My head has whacked every rack, the memory now has gone;
The eyes of tears, the whails I hear, the people are convulsing,
While follow ears the crappy jokes, the spoofs are grim repulsing:
  But O boobs! boobs! boobs!
    O the bouncing jugs are seen,
      But not in this movie though,
        Rated PG-thirteen.

now that's how you spoof,
me.

p.s. date movie sucked.

My lions pillow

2006-02-27T10:59:00.000-08:00

So yesterday I meant to wash all my sheets and such. But I'm random, and lazy and forgot until I was ready to crash. Now initially I was pissed because I was tired, and my Zelda/Mario pillow case was downstairs underthreat of being washed with bleech, but my mood quickly changed after rummaging through the linnen closet. After digging through ocean and flower patterns I happened upon my lion pillow case. Much like my previous post, a flood of memories was suddenly triggered by this pillow case. It was one of my favorites growing up, and has on it two lions in the jungle with a cub. They kind of look like they're posing for a picture out on a hunting trip. Needless to say I was excited. After making my bed, which I think I despise more than any other task in the world, I stood at the foot of my bed doing that little billow thing with the top sheet. Looking down at the pillow case from afar my attention was kind of drawn to different things than you notice upclose. The left big lion, for example, was overly preoccupied with a butterfly on his nose, and the right lion had a little too jovial smile going on, then the cub seemed to almost be looking at them a little confused... butterfly lion... titter lion... confused cub... butterfly.... titter... conf-... oh my god my pillow is gay!

It hit me like a lightning bolt, they weren't on a bloody hunting trip! Male lions don't hunt, they fight to the death for dominance of the pride! These guys clearly aren't fighting for dominance, though there is some pride... and I'm sure they get plenty of mane on mane action... but not to the death. (teeeheehee, if I get any more punny I'm going to need a put a warning lable on my blog) And the cub! That's not an apprentice hunter, that's their supreme court baby-cub.

mildly disallusioned,
me.

dinosaurs!

2006-02-23T17:32:00.000-08:00

So... I was going to make a blog post about my so called angry life, how I hate computers with a passion even though I've more or less dedicated almost half my life to them, how much bullshit it is that my tv card can actually flash itself at random, how the drivers and PVR software, which has been out for 4+ years doesn't have a simple fix to let you to set your current bullshit eprom instead of the fix, which involves flashing it from DOS. The only tool that can flash the card was written in DOS. That's like the fire hose instructions being written in sankrit. And what's worse, since I don't have a floppy they're written in sankrit and my wang just got cut off blinding me with tears of excruciating pain. That's about when I got the virus... so 3 days later I feel betrayed by my love, jilted if you will, so I was going to write a blog post about that... but then I decided against it because I was soothed. Then a commercial came and the I had a anger rising RISING moment and I guess I sort of did write a small post.

But what soothed me? Jurrasic Park on bravo. I totally forgot how much I loved that movie. It's almost freaky how I had totally forgot to the point of blacking out.... worlds best enhancing bra mmmmmm... soooo hot want to touch the hiney. Yeah, so distracting victorias secret commercials aside... I forgot how much I loved that movie. My favorite field trip was always to the science place to see the dinosaur robots. I read the book twice, saw the movie countless times, I even made my parents change our eating habbits so I could get all the different cups from mcdonalds.... I was a dork. I don't know why I was compelled to put this in a blog... if only there was a way to erase this, if only.

nerdasauras rex,
me.

better than computer nerd, fucking computers

El Dia del Muerte, Febuary 14th

2006-02-14T13:09:00.000-08:00

Ah death day, also referred to by The Man as valentines day. I despise this day, and it sucks even harder when your broke and can't afford to booze right through it.

Some food for thought.

(1) Love may be beautiful, love may be bliss
But I only slept with you, because I was pissed.

(2) I thought that I could love no other
Until, that is, I met your brother.

(3) Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you.
But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl's empty
and so is your head.

(4) Of loving beauty you float with grace
If only you could hide your face.

(5) Kind, intelligent, loving and hot;
This describes everything you are not.

(6) I want to feel your sweet embrace
But don't take that paper bag off of your face.

(7) I love your smile, your face, and your eyes -
Damn, I'm good at telling lies!

(8) My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife:
Marrying you screwed up my life.

(9) I see your face when I am dreaming.
That's why I always wake up screaming.

(10) My love, you take my breath away.
What have you stepped in to smell this way?

(11) My feelings for you no words can tell,
Except for maybe "go to hell".

(12) What inspired this amorous rhyme?
Two parts vodka, one part lime.

Merry death day to all and to all a good blight,
me.

The closest thing to explosive eDiarrhea

2006-02-09T10:54:00.000-08:00

Or is it i-Diarrhea.... things to ponder. I would think the concept of diarrhea is a bit too much for apple minamalism, who has a good lock on the i nameology, so definitely e. What the hell am I talking about? A blog post! One in which, if you do the math, it has been 4 months of build up for one big post, hence the explosive motiff... well and obviously a build up isn't going to make it any less crap. Get it? Crap... I'm so semipunny.

So campout! Hehe yeah I know it's been a long time. But I got a shyte load of great pictures, so I should make a post. The campout was fun, including the traditional lake run, campfire punch, and all sorts of tomfoolery. I took a bunch of pictures, so I'll try to put those all up on a photobook. Saturday we had a good time taking pictures and skipping rocks on the water.

Sexy ladies:

Water Run:

See all the pics here:
http://photos.yahoo.com/escapismc
If you want full resolution copy of any of the pics just aim/email meh.

So halloween, I came, I saw, I conquered. I'm not the conquering type? Well you're not a... type! Haha! You're nothing, a blank slate of... (sorry? don't insult the readers? hmm... I guess we can go with that for now) so moving on, I conquered by way of my alter ego... the meatwad. I say alter, because people have frequently pointed out that despite my undying love and admiration for the magnificent ball of meat, that my laziness induces certain very shakelike behavioral patterns of conning, manipulating, and all around tomfoolery. More so, that my intelligence, skepticism, and worship of the intangible fair and moral right invokes more frylike qualities than those de la carne. But! All of those are exhibited by meatwad but under a knownothing guise executed with masterful comedic timing much like myself... stop it! stop laughing! boy I will shank you. How did a post about halloween become a deconstruction of ATHF personalities? It was four damn months ago! I'm a little fuzzy on the details, so I'm fluffing. Wait no... that's not right, filling with fluff... is that evev any better? So, the construction of the suit was one of epic proportions, much like the pyramids, or the great wall, or Epcot Center. Mostly like Epcot center since as you can see, they have very similar construction. After a shyte load of sewing, glewing, and inking it was finally finished. And my already insane sexappeal was shot through the roof.

Now all was going great, with my 11.5 of 10 sex appeal... except the one thing I didn't anticipate. Candles. My archnemesis.

Turns out, nothing can defeat 11.5 sex appeal unless said sex appeal might have been artificially enhanced by glue, nylon fabric, and foam. Spicy flaming meatball fears aside, the party was exciting. However, if you are in a giant meatwad costume, and find yourself stuck inside with a desperate urge to pee, make sure no one has a camera.

Pictures:
A priest, a cutie, and a englishman walk into a party...

Hotties!

Epcot Construction...

Next morning I enjoyed hanging out with dubcheck on the rachems patio listening to some of his crazy stories. It would have been akward but luckily I was too drunk at the previous party to remember very clearly his nude parade through the room oh so close to my face. Good times.

Halloween Photos: If you want any full rez copies let me know
http://photos.yahoo.com/escapismc

So a little while back I was watchign King of the Hill and it was the quizbowl episode where Bobby joins the quizbowl team. It brought back a lot of memories, and it's amazing how well mike judge nails nuances right on the head. From the caffeine overload, to the way information blurs together. The wall covered with study papers, sad but true. You go mr. judge.

Now is time for bloggal intermission: For this we'll run through a quick annecdote. So on my samsung e105 phone it has the T9 software which uses predictive text to try and determine what the most likely word choice for 3874 actually is. It was a sunny day, cool temp, the bees and birds were doing their bees and birds thing. I always thought that was wierd, bees and the birds... I just don't see how the birds fit in. I can understand bees, given the conservative tradition in america's past it fits well as a very very abstract representation and metaphor that might have been used for explaing sexufied sexy things to youngins. But where the hell did the birds come from? I've had cockatiels and trust me, there's nothing conservative about two birds fuckin. An awe inspiring miracle of balance? Yes. A nice abstract euphamism of sex? No. Birds get down. In fact, I should integrate that into my vernacular... "You see those two? they'lre all over each other" "Yup, like a stack of birds" Awesome. This is going to be a trend, I'll be the stack of birds guy... how the hell did I get... ah,so it was a sunny day. And I hit 23 on my phone. Now, a quick inspection of your phone reveals that 23 happens to contain the characters of be. Yup, the verb of existence itself. But yet, what does T9 give you? 23. That's right, T9, and I would say rightfully so, chooses Jordan's jersey number over existence. And that, ladies, gents, and ladygents (hey I'm an equal oppurtunity blogger) rocks the casbar. This is the longest damn interlude ever. :P No wait, intermission.

So christmas and new years were pretty cool this year. I kind of did them both off the cuff and hung out with random people. So here's a pic of christmas eve on my dad's side of la familia. I couldn't get a wide enough shot to get everyone, so this is really only 80% of the people, which is why Carpenter family gatherings are an at best daunting possibly even terrifying experience for girlfriends.
**edit: After being questioned, this is my immediate family per se, a family reunion is at least twice as big, and even this nuclear shot in addition to missing the 20% not in the picture is also missing the oregon crew which numbers like 9 or so, and a few others. **

Goot dimes.

This... is the best baby ever.
http://www.metacafe.com/watch/32450/laughter/
Seriously, almost makes me want to have kids.... almost.

The only good thing to come out of warcraft other than Leeroy Jenkins:
curtis armstrong is the fookin bomb. While it's understandable if the name doesn't immediately ring a bell, his characters will. Most prominantly as Booger in revenge of the nerds. It is simply astounding to see how many movies and tv rolls he's played in the past two decades. My hat is off to you good sir, follower of the oddball, and master of the character method.

So what have I been doing since graduating? Not a damn thing, and it's starting to get old so I'm finally turning up the speed on finding a job. The Google position fell through which sucks, but to reference one of my favorite dave lyrics. "Cause I blindly throw my faith to the face Of the next good thing that comes my way". If you have a job lead, that perferably pays well and is doing something cool (I'm not picky right?) hit me up.

So, I've created another new word, this time for almost a new concept no less. Beloguered, the act of having a blog post so far behind that it literally becomes so beleaguered by lazyness you doubt if you'll ever finish it. Three days here.

So when you spend a shyte load of time writting a blog, you tend to channel surf a lot to pass the time and make your posting process even longer. And that is how I happened upon the House of Commons' broadcast on cspan. I can honestly say I haven't been so entertained in a very long time, and the House of Commons broadcast is my new favorite show on TV. I could seriously watch that all damn day.

In addition to the house of commons, I've also spent a good bit of time watching CurrentTV. For those who don't have the network or haven't watched it, it's basicly a network that's ran off of user submitted and indie 'pods' which are short videos, scripted, off the cuff, documentaries, etc. For my long time readers (5 months is a long time! especially to be reading this crap) you know that I have a huge appreciation for spoken word and slams, and love def poetry jam. While watching Current I came across this pod and I highly recommend everyone watch it: At 13. Good stuff.

11.5 out of 10 sexys,
me.

Glenn Mitchell, rip.

2005-11-21T08:12:00.000-08:00

I know everyones been waiting for a new post with halloween and the campout etc but it'll have to wait a few more days. Yesterday morning Glenn Mitchell died at the young age of 55. It's strange because all week long he was doing his show and you just sort of expect him to be there on monday. In trying to understand the shock and loss I felt when I heard the news, I realized the huge presence he and his show have had in my life. People sometimes affect your life in ways you don't expect, it just makes me appreciate the unexpected ways people come in and influence your life. My midday will not be the same without him, and my thoughts go out to his friends, family and listeners.

me.

Weekend time!

2005-10-13T20:31:00.000-07:00

So instead of just a bunch of posts I'll slip this into one post. Last weekend started with my cousins birthday. It was pretty cool to see his younger brother who just started at UTA and the effects college life has had on him thus far. My older cousin, we'll call him John, evidently has become somewhere between hobbified and fascinated with maps, which explains his present a wall sized... I forget which, either an Eckert or Peters projection map. Basicly, it's a map that accurately portrays the the land mass of the world, and centers it correctly on the equator and all I can say is DAMN. Westerners sure do love distorting the world, I mean it makes sense cause we're awesome, but still it's insane to see just how big africa is compared to everything else. Oh and indonesia is almost the size of the US! Not in land mass, but like if you drew a circle around all the islands. Waaay bigger than the little sliver usually used to represent it. Here's a pic of the birthday boy and cake.

So once I got home from that outing I hitup Afrah Pastries with tool, ashley, thomas and eric. I love that place. For those who've never been, afrah pastries is like a foodmarket/restaurant/hookah bar (minus the booze) in downtown richardson across from the police station. Think of it like a braums... but persian. It's always so chill to sit out on the padio and smoke a hookah and get some hummas and baklava.

So saturday... I don't remember what I did saturday night but it was probably lame. However saturdayday wen, wes and myself went to see Two for the Money and Green Street Hooligans. Both were good movies, but what I think seriously made them great for me is the analysis of their respective dark topics, addiction to gambling and addiction to violence. I'd highly recommend both, though I enjoy'd GSH more.

Then came sunday, and it was a return to the Cavern. First we stopped off by Gingerman which is always fun. The best thing though about Sundays is that there's no crowd anywhere. Easy parking, easy seat finding, etc. Ricki Derek was again performing Frank covers. Now, one might think there really isn't a way you can top a chill tucked away greenville lounge with a sinatra cover artist, and prior to Sunday night I would have been inclined to agree. However, I've since realized Frank covers in a sexy lounge isn't an awesome thing, it's awesome power to fuel awesome things!

Things like girls dancing!!

And things like girls cuddling on couches!!!

And things like girls... whatever that is on couches!!!

After a brief stop over at the aqualounge before close, tool and I chilled out for several hours and hit up the late night jack n box. And thus concluded my weekend. The End.

Jealous of that damn couch,
me.

TV... giver of life, warmth and secret lover.

2005-10-11T20:47:00.000-07:00

So... Kristen Bell errrrow. I marathoned Veronica Mars season one this weekend and caught up on tivo for season 2. This show is incredible. I think becuase it's such a vast contrast to current shows like Lost, the OC and Alias where NOTHING HAPPENS EVER! I felt like the season was almost over and I was only in 5 of 23ish so much plot went down. Centered in a setting very similar to the OC but with plot and no cliches (which are becoming overbearing in the new season of OC) it follows the adventures of one Veronica Mars, apprentice to her father P.I., as she unravels the great dirty secrets of rich people.

Sooo... Lost, Alias, OC, and a bunch of other shows are suuuuuuucking. Why do they drag on and on? And Lost's reuse of footage is just fookin lame. FOOKIN I tell yah!

So what is good? Well My Name is Earl has impressed thus far. All the actors are excellent in their delivery and seldom is it that a show really captures a unique prespective as opposed to just showing a plot with punchlines. (scrubs and frasier are some of the few I can think of). Smallville is only solid so far, but frequently builds to a much better late season than early. Also Supernatural is the damndeedigity. Screw every other ghost/nightstalker/etc show on the fall lineup. First off, I'd like to give props to the WB for using 20 something actors who play... wait for it... 20 something characters. Step in the right direction guys. The show has really solid horror cinematography, lighting, and special effects on par with the movies in objective quality but with more style and mood than most movies. House still wins as the best character drama on television. And Everybody Hates Chris is rock solid but is fucked by timeslots. Finally Nip/Tuck fucking rocks it like always. Most provocative, if not best show, on television hands down. Oh and guilty pleasures of the day goes to Las Vegas and Boston Legal. Denny Crane! I can see that casting call, 'who could we possibly get to out apeshit james spader? William Shatner ofcourse!'

sexin up the boob tube,
me.

Sci-Fi Five!!!!

2005-10-05T10:47:00.000-07:00

*slap* Dammit, I'll know if you didn't five the blog. I'll know and I'll scorn. And then I'll five cooler people than you. Like him... and him.

So, it's about that time for another movie post. And this time I thought we'd go with a theme... mostly because both movies were of the sameish genre. No it's not porn, read the title! Did you learn nothing from TAAS/TEAMS??? Yeah me neither, standard testing rocks! Though my final fantasy is to have a harem....

Final Fantasy: Advent Chilrden rocked! I have honestly never seen CG so excellent. But what really made the movie excellent was that the choreography of the fight scenes was mind blowing. After seeing it three times I still find new things in the fight scenes. The plot is solid too.

Serenity: A very good movie. Only Joss Whedon can deviate from a show so dearly held and have me be ok with it. The pacing was excellent, the story line was tight, his normal dialog (Buffey or Angel) has the camp turned down abit to appeal to a mass movie audience, and consequently the jokes are solid. Oh and the special effects were not too shabby.

geeked out,
me.

Regionals

2005-09-30T09:40:00.000-07:00

Good luck to the DU team at regionals this weekend.

varrooooooom

2005-09-22T15:13:00.000-07:00

So normally my blog posts are event driven, occasionally on a point of topic, and every once in a while a drunk rambling. But rarely are they just a synthesis of things and ideas running through my head. I guess that's cause people aren't really all that synthesisy. If we were, yelling Eureka and By George! would be lame and cliched. So... where was I, ah, synthesis so anyways a bunch of random things relating to cars of some form or another have popped up and have bounced thinking around so now I present, "Pointless Post: How posts without 'a point' have more point than life itself and drive market economies." by Michael Carpenter PhD-eezNutz.

I have to say, I am quite impressed with car companies. My entire life, bear in mind as a child from the 80s aka the box car era *shudder*, I have been dumbfounded by why companies can't make cool cars. For craps sake I drew cooler cars when I was 5 than most cars produced from 79-95. Even post 95 however cars still on a whole sucked and it was beyond me as to why. Why can only ferarri think hey lets put some ducts onthis to make it look fast? Body moldings can't be that expensive to just add an extra curve or two. Well that ofcourse spawned conspiracy theories... why? have I taught you nothing? the question why is always answered by conspiracy theory, it's a corrolary of the old adage 'the most obvious explanation is the most likely'. For example, "why don't I have a harem still?" "antiharem league conspiracy" "why didn't I make the AcDec team?" "MsLongisanevilbitchwhofakesbackpainforhandicapplatesstoopidwhore Foundation conspiracy" "Why did my computer crash?" "computer elf unions conspiracy theory" See? Ok.. so, in the wake of the past 2-3 years I can only assume the "Ugly people of america against being outshined by subthirtythousand autos, you know, UPAABOSA has fallen, the free thinking creativity loving rebel fighters of automaker uppermanagement must have finally over thrown those shadowy-autocrats. Caddillac? Sexy. Pontiac? Sexy. Saturn? hehe no seriously, bear with me here, sexy. Chrysler? (prowler didn't count they took it from plymouth), sexy. Ford? Sexy. Me? Dead Sexy. Chevy... well they can't all be great.

Parking at UTD SUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCKS. Hoover man was found dead in that fountain next to founders&johnson... ofcourse at first everyone just assumed he wandered to close or took a drink and the fountain got him, those dead squirells don't just die in the trees and fall in. But the autopsy revealed something quite darker, quite darker indeed, he was sucked dry. But why? Why would anyone want to kill a Hoover salesman? .... .... ... ahaha sharp as a tack you all are, and you are quite correct my brilliant students! Conspiracy! So much suckage, just imagine if one company could harnest such power. I suspect a DirtDevil henchmen, but it might go all the way to the top of GE. Ah, but fear not fellow 'intheknowians', you know, ITKs because I think The Founders forsaw such evil. Green:"By George men! We have perfected it, the ultimate equation of suckage" Johnson:"Eureeka! It's... it's so beautiful." McDermot:"Aye laddy tis that, but dark too, dark and beautiful. Such a thing au'never fall into the wroooong hands." Green:"He's right... we... we can change it, the suckage will still bemighty, but the true secret of it's power can be hidden..." Johnson:"It is so, upon our lives we swear to hide the secret of the suckage from the weakness that is mortals" Green:"I swear" McDermot:"Oy me too". And so it was that from 7am until 10 pm parking is of the utmost suckage except a small pocket of 3-4:15 before 4 o'clock class when parking is pleasent, cheerful, and secretly protects the universe from evil doers.

When I'm not actually cutting off old ladies trying to continue their education to gank a parking spot, I actually enjoy driving. Hehe, who am I kidding, I enjoy it even more then, gotta get quicker old people! Where.. ah, so I've noticed that I don't really just go drive anymore, and I'd imagine it has something to do with the fact that I don't enjoy driving as much anymore. But wh- Conspiracy, yup, I taught you well. I have had the joy beaten out of me by two sources, that are in fact conspiring. The first is the POPO. Bloody ass clowns have given me so many tickets that the joy of driving has been sucked out of me. The other part ofcourse is the car. It reminds me of Comfortable by John Mayer. I miss the shaggin wagon :( Sure the saturn has AC, no cracked windshields, a paintjob, radio, smiles for pictures that aren't being taken, and swears that she's artsy... but I miss the sheep shag seats, the leapord spotted roof, the ecentric electronics, the ability to do uturns by powersliding, the ability to just spin my car around for no reason at all, grey sweat pants, and no makeup. You know, it was comfortable. I guess you might say broken in... but really I just want her back. Unfortunately we sold her for 200 bucks on her death bed to a mexican fellow and his 9 year old translator. I'll just have to console my self with something insanely fast when I graduate. Then maybe I'll rediscover the love of the road. First stop will be the Beltline500.

And now kids for a story. This is the story of the duck car. Part car, part duck, all mystery. You see, the origins of the duck car are now hidden in time, time and poor resolution of camera phones. You see, it all started one nice spring day when the Rachems, myself, and Thomas (aka Jamas aka Jambi aka theChellanFromAnotherMellon) were having a festive lunch in the small ham of buckingham, purveyors or liquor and icehokey. When all of a sudden the sky turned black, thunderous clashes rang out, and a giant hole in the sky appeared. We rushed outside, was this it? The end of the world? Sure we were ready to die, but that day was not our time. Instead, the sky closed up, the sun shone through, and our eyes fell upon the Duck car. A horrific beauty that burned the retinas and destroyed faith in higherpowers. It was a dark beast for sure. Though no one dare attack it for fear of life and limb, it was most certainly invincible. Its hide was an impenatrable plastic and electrical tape, covered in deadly fins and spikes, and ofcourse all seeing eyes, resting firmly in a mallard's head grafted to the hood, almost certainly sacrificed in the cars creation. It was not long before our time with el coche del ducko came to an end, mostly cause of boredom and a bit of disallusion with camera phones... oh and the liquor store seductively calling our name. Though our time amongst such majesty and such evil was short, nay one of us shall soon forget that day. That is why my ears were a buzz with a call from the Rachem a few weeks prior to this very day about the Duck car resurfacing! But it was new! and improved! It now had spots! And the fins were now bondoed on. Could it be? Even mightier? I was left in a world of doubt for the longest week of my life. It was then that I saw her picking my brother up from band. She was even more beautiful and terrifying than I had remembered. I flogged myself for not thinking ofthis sooner, where else to find a magical car but at a magical place? I should have known to check Pancho's Mexican Buffet months ago. But Why? Why would a car, already so great spontaneously grow even greater? Mmmmmhmmmmm. I'm asking the wrong questions, it's not the why but the when and the where and the WHO! Unfortunately, I don't have this conspiracy figured out yet, which is why in the near future I intend to create a website, a clearing house of information if you will, of all info related to... El Coche Del Ducko. I think I'll call it duckcardallas.org or duckcardoesdallas.org that sounds sexy... but more typing... sexy vs lazy now there's a fight for pay per view. Maybe just elcochedelducko.org. Stay vigilant faithful followers, we will solve the Mystery of the Duck Car. (so help me god though, if it's another crooked real estate developer with a smoke machine and bedsheet.. I think I'll flip)

Notice how it's near perfect camoflage makes the car practicly invisible without photo enhancement?

Let not the pixels fool you, lest ye be it's next prey.

trust no one,
me.

Ring a ding ding

2005-09-19T22:12:00.000-07:00

I love learning. No no wait, bear with me hear. (teehee) Don't let my bitching and moaning about school mislead you... because school is definitely not on a whole associated with learning. It is? oh... well it isn't in my mind. But anywho when I discover a new place, or learn a new thing I can't help but get a grin cause it tickles my brain... I guess you could describe it like a koala crapping a rainbow in my head. So... the source of this multicolored archway in my cranium? The Cavern and Speedballs. Rachem and I hit up the Cavern on Sunday which I really digged. We went with some people from the Londoner to see a Sinatra cover artist whose name escapes me at the moment. The lounge portion is evidently upstairs on top of a new gypsytearoom/trees alternative bar/venue, however, since it has it's own entrance and stairs I didn't see what the venue portion looks like. The guy was a solid Frank cover artist including oldschool lounge style intersong banter. Mmmmm punchlines.... Most of my favorites were covered including the lady is a tramp and world on a string. No 'my way' but we did get there late so who knows. Highlight of the night was when the guy mentioned Laura Miller between songs and a girl at the table on the other side of the room remarked, "who's laura miller?" Classic. After that we headed over to New Amsterdam Coffee House at fair park where I endured my second cerebral lucky charms annurism, Speedballs. Suffice it to say Guiness+espresso rocks my world, rocks it sexy. What's odd is I'm really not a fan of coffee but the guiness absorbs the edge leaving a complex smooth taste and hair raising caffeine. Pictures! I forgot to take any at the Cavern but here's one from NACH.

And then here's one that's evil... or what it would look like had it been a real amsterdam coffee house. Definitely Evil. Except rachel... I mean, still evil cause it's rachels naturally (doubt it? oh I have rachel pictures that will burn a hole in your soul), but not outright. She has this "I'm just a little possesed girl who pushes people down stairs, protect me superdemons" look. Or a sexy comehither "come play with me and jenn big boy... forever and ever and ever eyyeeeeehahhahahhahah" look.

Beware ye of faint heart!

sittin' on a rainbow,
me.

Havest moon

2005-09-19T21:54:00.000-07:00

Happy mid-autumn!!!! Man the moon this weekend was incredible, early in the night on Saturday it seems to defract light through jet streams making them look 3-4 times thicker than normal and flat. So the moon was huge in the bottom sky and had like what looked like ribbons wrapped around it. Then at around 3a.m. I stepped out and the moon was now high in the sky and had an aura in the clouds that took up the entire night sky. This giant ring literally started just above the roof tops and encircles all the way to the edge of my own house. Unfortunately the pictures didn't come out too well, but here's my favorite.

wide eyed,
me.

Confirmation hearings

2005-09-14T09:43:00.000-07:00

Don't really know what to say about this so far. On the one hand, the democrats keep beating a dead bush with 'quotes' from John Robert's memos from over 20 years ago. Which is rediculous really because a) those memos/papers were written under the employment of a political agency and b) it was over 20 years ago. Which brings us to the counter point, the senate was denied recent documents and so they really don't have too much recent material to use so it's really their fault. (how a high level senate committee can be denied documents is beyond me btw) My impressions so far is that John Roberts is an ethical, fair individual with unbelievable experience in constitutional law. But who knows, Iraq had weapons of mass destruction so I can't help but always feel 2 steps away from being hoodwinked with the current administration.

disillusioned,
me.

David Ryan Harris concert

2005-09-12T12:20:00.000-07:00

Friday was the David Ryan Harris concert and it was incredible. This is what both Wen and I imagined the RachelYamagata & RayLaMontagne concert would have been. The crowd was small, (maybe 50 people) and the band just walked in through the front door and hung out occasionally at the bar before the show. Opening for drh was Sam Thacker a new artist I had never heard of but turned out to be really good. The best thing about the show was it's mix of music which reminded me a lot of a john mayer show. The music would transition from bluesy rock to slow singer/songwriter songs, etc. On that note, the band supporting drh is actually John Mayer's band while he works on his side project. It was an interesting night with the pictures, by the end ithink I finally found a way to take pictures without a tripod in the dark of concerts. So that's why there aren't too many pics on this one. Pictures below, videos coming soon...

rockin out with my... well you know,
me.

Joel in town

2005-09-12T11:28:00.000-07:00

So Joel was in town last weekend, so this is a bit late but we hit up Sushi Awaji and then Dukes. It was a really good time and I both miss and don't miss dukes.

Some pics...

commentless,
me.

theyyyyyy're heeeeeeeere

2005-09-11T00:11:00.000-07:00

So, the past two days have been a marathon run of the first two seasons of the4400. This show is definitely one of my new favorite shows and I can't wait for season3. Without giving too much a way, over the past 60 years people who have been 'abducted' suddenly return all at once in a ball of light with powers for unclear reasons. Kind of a mix of x-men (like the overarching mutant storyline), revelations (bible), that Visitor show with the dude from northern exposure/sex in the city, and ofcourse one of my favorite from 90s syndication: Earth Final Conflict. I have season 1 if anyone wants to borrow it and season2 on my tivo.

the truth is out there,
me.

To All the Girls I Loved Before

2005-09-07T13:16:00.000-07:00

Man nothing blows donkey balls like having that song pop into your head only to realize you don't have that song anymore... well I wouldn't say nothing, there wasthis one time at bandcamp in mexi- this isn't the right blog for that story. That's right Wyclef does in fact start with a W, which does in fact fall in the last third of the alphabet, which is in fact the third I couldn't save from my hard drive as it cackled (some would call it spring noises) at me and took a sabatical in shottyville. You know, it's in crapIFUCKINGHATECOMPUTERSola county. When I'm rich, I'm going tojust hunt down the makers of shitty hard drives and of spyware and beat them with a belt. It's called comeuppance, and it's coming for you bitches. as soon as i'm rich.

crying tears or radnessge, (yup, I've invented a new feeling)
me.

p.s. I always thought when I was little and had a big vocabulary but couldn't spell or understand/speak english that the word was comemuppets (e in hte middle is silent) like you could summon the muppets to do your evil bidding... like the two cranky balcony fellows and animal would make this destructo team and feast on bones... or fuzzy would tell hisbad jokes and torture you to death.... who am I kididng, fuzzy's jokes were awesome! I miss themuppets. I miss being a kid. I miss a time when computers didn't exist, and the only thing that crashed on me was my couch cushion fort.

defending the livingrooms from foreign heathens,
me.
(yeah i signed my p.s. so what... you want to fight about it?)

the return of uuuuggggghhhhhhh

2005-09-05T19:37:00.000-07:00

I'm never drinking again...

at least till I feel better.

uuuuggggghhhhhhh

2005-09-03T21:51:00.000-07:00

So we went to dinner tonight at Tong's, then went and got ice cream at Marble Slab. I've had better ideas... like sticking my wang in a pencil sharpener or putting my beer in my pocket upside down so I can have both hands to do stand-up comedy. Seriously though, what was I thinking? Grease+fat+sugar+dairy = dogshumpinginapark, no no wait, bare with me here. Like warm and fuzzy and throbbing.. and a little sickening... not like imediate upfront, but somewhere.. in the back of your mind you're just like ewwww.

Which means I can only conclude that dogs are in fact humping in my stomach.

mildy terrfied,
me.

So much for syndication...

2005-09-02T07:03:00.000-07:00

Welp, sorry Chris Carter but Katrina is going to destroy and date the x-files from here on out. In the wake of current events the idea that FEMA will sieze control of the country in an alien attack/natural disaster is... well I'll let you dear readers(haha?) decide what but implausible is the best case word to use. (I'd use inane or insane or lame...)

I don't understand the sluggish response, but this is what I imagine 9/11 would have looked like (in feeling, not scope/size/etc) had we not had Giulani. Someone needs to take charge and give a clear voice and direction to the situation. (and it needs to be a higher up because the local govt is a mess)

befuddled,
me.

awwww fuck me

2005-08-29T08:30:00.000-07:00

No really, I swear I'm cooler than this. Seriously! Come on... I'm a cool guy, really I promise! But uh... yeah I have more movies.

If I was cooler I'd be drunk and have red eyes, but I'm not... so I was watching Red Eye. And Mr. Craven is back! After taking a detour in spoofville and a picnic in the greenlight distric, he's back to his genre. This was really more a good suspense/action movie, than a horror movie. Rachel McAdams is hooo..ooo-oot. Who'd have thunk the girl from mean girls and the hot chick would suddenly end up a star in two of the biggest movies of the summer. (also in Wedding Crashers) I did mind you, but that's cause I'm psychic! Beware my powers! I can talk to pets and infer information by your reactions to letters of the alphabet!

Pets! Of the sea! Don't feed the killer whales! No it won't give them indigestion, I don't think anything can give them indigestion. Including you! They will kill you if you try to feed them... oh you'll feed them... your first born child. Don't fuck with those things.... Oh, I saw Deep Blue. The less famous bigger brother of March of the Penguins. It was a gorgeous film that showed the full spectrum of the ocean life. Highlights include the rolling rave fish (cause they blink like trance lights) in the deep ocean, a polar bear (the fiercest kill of the animal kingdom) trying to take out whales, and killerwhales taking out EVERYTHING. Those fuckers are mean, highlight of the meanness: killerwhale, we'll call him Willy launches a baby seal, we'll call him booboo, though pooor bastard may be more accurate... anywyas, launching booboo with his tail at least 4-5 stories (30-40 ft) into the air like a rag doll.

Poor baby seals... it was a very Grimm sight. Eh? eh? I'm clever. Brothers Grimm was a fantastic, imaginative, Willow-PrincessBride hybrid crap of a movie. Don't get me wrong, I really enjoyed it a lot. And it was a great fairy tail that, as you can tell by my dated references they just don't make many of now a days. (I blame 3D-animation) But man it was a horribly cut film. I don't want to say directed, because the cinematography and direction in scene are great, but it's pacing is all over the place the story seems choppy, etc. So first, be able to watch a MOVIE and suspend belief, second be prepared for an erratic pacing, and you'll get a pretty good movie.

oh god my corneas,
me.

movies movies movies

2005-08-22T20:32:00.000-07:00

Wow... I'm so movied out it's not even funny. Which is going to make writting this post long and painful if it's going to be funny... which it probaly won't.... but still read, cause there are movies.. and stuff, I should be a salesman.

so... I've done FF, WotW, batman, and smiths... did I do Sky High? Oh it was a sidenote, well then, i guess I'll start there.

So first up on the block, Sky High. At first glance this may look like a SpyKids type movie, but it's really not. Granted it's still child friendly (unlike the movies below) but it has solid jokes and superpowers. I'm a sucker for superpowers, and not to mention hot chicks. They play highschool students, but they're all over age.... I think. And ofcourse, Kurt Russel & Bruce Campbell in roles that give them one liners is just so dreammy. *daydreams of Big Trouble in Little China and Army of Darkness*

Next up to bat, big Duecy goes to Amsterdam in Duece Bigalow: European Gigalow. Now, I didn't like this movie that much. Why? well sure it was not a great plot... or acting... or direciton... but mostly because it shows the grittier side of the gigalow underground, where you're hired to please women who aren't being pleased elsewhere. The idea that you are not actually paid to get busy with beautiful women ruins my dre- ... dream of seeing a good movie that day. yesss.. that's it. Though like anything from the happy madison productions there's some good jokes, but not enough to justify theatre prices.

Now lets roll down remake lane, it's a circle drive actually not a lane... or is it a circle jerk... cause that would explain some things... Bewitched, not too bad, I enjoyed it but a lot of people didn't. Nicole Kidman is hilarious and I want to have Will Ferrels babies. No, no wait... no ok, I got that right. Willie Wonka & the chocolate factory I'm sitll not sure on. I am sure that it wasn't better than the first. The first was a classic, this will not be. No amount of argument or thought can change this fact that what makes a movie classic is a feeling far more intangible than something that can be quantitatively measured or qualitatively described. I think I would have liked the movie more if the umpa lumpa's were more scary. Their songs just weren't dark enough to sell it I guess. Visually stunning, emotionally empty. If you wanted to make it as great as the original the key was to make parents think it was a great movie to show their children and give the children nightmares. That's classic.

And next we'll be popping caps in peoples asses. Collateral (dvd) and Four Brothers both fucking rocked. They both have a pacing and action level akin to old action movies before they became hyper-violent uzifests. Think die hard or dirty harry. Jamie Fox did an incredible job acting, as did all the people in Four Brothers, especially Walberg and Andre3000(benjamin). And gun shots! Both movies had some of the best, most visceral gun shots in memory. Both movies also didn't pull punches with people dying. Dying good. Boom good. Movies good.

When people get shot, they die cause their body is broke. And then you send flowers to the funeral. Which oddly enough brings us to our next movie, Broken Flowers. (eh? see how I did that? write that down) Broken Flowers is another movie I'm not too sure about. I guess you could call it a cross between About Schmidt and Lost in Translation. The problem is it doesn't have the pacing that either film does, which is sad because I think Bill Murray pulls off an even more nuanced performance than himself (LiT) or Nicolson (AS). As Wes accurately noted, there's not much of a soundtrack, though he just called me a sack of poo on aim... as I my own filmic genius discovered, there's no soundtrack like in lost in translation, but there's not as much actual things happening like in About Schmidt. So it has the long pauses of LiT, but the absence of music during emotional scenes from Schmidt. (though I think even About Schmdit had more of a soundtrack) A thumbs up though for Alexis Dziena who's character is fully neked and walking around the room. Despite being named Lolita, she's overage... I think.

I need sex. But not a much as this guy. (no, seriously... ladies I'm now accepting applications, I'm an equal orgasmictunities employer that offers a 69k plan, and full mental coverage {cause girls are krrazy! teehe}) No but really, 40 Year Old Virgin is seriously giving Wedding Crashers a run for funniest movie of the summer. It's hard to judge, cause they're kind of different styles, but I'm leaning towards 40YOV. I love how both this movie and Wedding Crashers avoid the now overplayed somethingaboutmary/americanpie gross out humor. You laugh cause you're brain is tickled, not because it's a nervous reaction to keeping vomit down. With Chapelle show on indefinite hiatus we have a new champion for line you hear on campususes this fall to be used waaaay too much: "you know how i know you're gay? . . .". And like the trend champ that I am, ofcourse I'm gonna be an early adopter.

You know how I know you're gay? You read my blog. AHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAH! ...oh :-/

And finally, the fanciest for last, the Aristocrats. This movie is so fucking hilariously wrong it's right. It is extremely profane, so if you have issues with that do not see the movie. You won't enjoy it, you'll either walk out, or wish you were walking out but realize you're lame and worry too much about what other people think... which might actually be good cause you'll at least get the point from the movie by staying. Anyways, it is basicly a documentary based on a famous vaudville joke. In addition to just being funny, the movie casually analyzes how jokes change from comedian to comedian, the secrets of timing and language in jokes, etc. It was particularly funny to hear the audience reaction (Magnolia@WestVillage), which played up great with certain incest and sex jokes which wouldn't play as well at say Legacy(north plano), but didn't seem to laugh at the gay bahsing jokes. Everyone has their own unique line, and this movie pushes each persons own. Brilliant.

trying to refocus my eyes,
me.

Home warming party

2005-08-20T12:41:00.000-07:00

A bit late on this one, but last sunday was Rachel's homewarming party, her place is sweet and they have like this huge grotto-esque pool which is really sweet (at least at night it looks grottoish... sexy). The party was cool and went for hours, oh and I am officially back to my long lost love Vodka. I drank a looooooooooooooooooot and had no hangover. As you can see above the pool table is really nice, and full size, a little comfy on one end with the wall but it's still cool.

So... drinking was had early and often, there were of course lizadies..

... and drunk-fu
First rule of drunk-fu camera flashes distracts not the eyes less it distracts the soul.
Second rule of drunk-fu, a true master never drops his cigarette in a fight.
Third rule of drunk-fu, the heart of the warrior is always ready, not just on the field of battle but... in bedrooms.... while drunk.

Finally the party moved to the pool, clothing possibly optional, I'm really anxious to see what the pool looks like in daylight because night time plus drunk time made it look really sweet.

And what good party is complete till some drunk ass clown walks through the room neked... no, no pictures on that one.

with naughty thoughts of my new fling vodka,
me.

A day at the farm.

2005-08-15T14:48:00.000-07:00

Thursday all my family went to the farm for the day. It's wierd not having horses down there anymore, but I guess it's for the best since they wouldn't be ridden enough now a days. So pictures!

First up the front pasture panoramic! It's only acutally like 70% of it, and I didn't have a camera when I was in the back pasture so no pictures of it.

Now for a sexy little tease for steve, oh you know you want it big boy...

Cousins playing football...

The front barn over the willow pond...

Our old boat...

yeehaw,
me.

Darfur bands part duex

2005-08-08T09:39:00.000-07:00

A quick update: The bands finally arrived. Since I only had a few people show interest I think I'm going to forgo actually trying to collect money and encourage everyone to persue their own donation to MSF if they wish. Out of towners I'll get your addies from you soon.

me.

Lake Texhoma

2005-08-07T21:35:00.000-07:00

Went to the family reunion this weekend, it was pretty fun.

Word to the wise, don't get sick while traveling. Also don't put your arm on a bee. Cause that's just silly. And he'll probably sting you, and you'll probably not have any benadryl. And then your arm itches all weekend. Seriously, leave the bees in peace.

So... onto my new thought. I want to live on a boat. How cool would it be to have a house boat and just float around all the time. And since I'd be on international waters I could gamble and have a harem. Lakes aren't international waters? But I would get lots of ass? Of a type? ...That's good enough.

with a floating spirit,
me.

And to end it with the 'Carpenter' mottos,
"Lead, follow, or get the hell out of the way"
&
"Grab it like you mean it" (frequently preceded by an uncle under a car/tractor who needs you to stop being a wus and get some part on/off saying "c'mon boy")

and some food for thought....

2005-08-04T11:22:00.000-07:00

If you have HBO, check out the Def Poetry episode with Common, which includes the following (and I guess last tv performance) of Oscar Brown Jr. a Def Laureate if you will. If you don't, get the new season when it comes out on dvd and watch. Every person should see this performance.

This Beach

And now I’ve landed on this beach

It takes sixty-five years to reach

As this generation of mine

Is ordered onto life’s front line

The targets of a fusillade

That forces us to think of God

Reluctantly we storm this beach

Advancing to fill up the breach

Created by that fallen corps

Of elders who charged here before

While we enjoyed our middle age

Removed from the fire we now engage

A withering barrage rakes this beach

Its bullets bear the names of each

Of those who set foot on these sands

Old General Calendar commands

Advancing to a sure defeat

Without the option of retreat

We knew before we hit this beach

The enemy that we besiege

Has ammunition for us all

Who as casualties must fall

Not one will manage to survive

Nobody leaves this beach alive

For those arriving on this beach

There is no prayer to pray nor preach

To beg us off in any tongue

Since we have outlived dying young

And for surviving in exchange

Now face the fire at point blank range

The witness we bear on this beach

Has only one lesson to teach

That here the carnage never stops

As every day another drops

Some classmate, relative or friend

Whose attack comes to an abrupt end

So on into the breach my peers

Who knows how many weeks or years

Remain till you and I are hit

As we inch onward, bit by bit

We only know our lives will bleach

Eternally out on this beach

- Oscar Brown Jr.
10/10/1926 - 05/29/2005

stones&crisis

2005-08-02T16:44:00.000-07:00

Stones are interesting. You have helpful ones you step upon, flat ones you skip on water, rolling ones that are invulnerable to organisms of the plantae kingdom, and a pair that you should water because they evidently need to grow. What's even more curious is that each of these stones seem infinitely important to every stage, decision, and moment in life. A framework if you will for moving through life based on where you've been, reflection on what to do next, preserverance in adversity, and the courage to take the last step.

The thing is, they kind of depend on each other for a mutual success, and I keep finding myself knee deep in water lost in rippled reflections with not a clue what's going on. And the more distorted things become the more it seems like delicate skipping across water isn't the solution this time. So I figure fuck it, lets chuck some rocks.

Hoping my house isn't glass,
me.

uggggh

2005-08-01T15:50:00.000-07:00

I'm never drinking gin again.

or scotch
or rum
or crown
or beer
well, definitely not all at the same time. I need to retun to my roots of vodka served cold by General Mynuhzeetch. Clean and smooth... and more importantly no hangovers.

On a side note, Sky High was a much better movie that I anticipated.

in misery,
me.

Wedding Crashers

2005-07-27T14:07:00.000-07:00

Talk about a feel good inspirational movie. Is it wrong that I took inspiration in addition to laughs away from this movie? Maybe. Is that going to disuade me any? Probably not.

Over the weekened I also saw Hustle&Flow which was a suprisingly good movie. Actually, it was a suprising movie, that was good. I anticipated enjoying it, just not in the way that I actually did.

On a final note, I'm greatly anticipating The Aristocrats releasing this friday. Hopefully it'll open in dallas on it's opening date.

with glazed eyes,
me.

p.s. Over There, a Steven Bocho production (nypdblue, hillstreetblues, etc) premiers tonight on FX, so if you'r eon of thos epeople who read this daily (AHAHAHHAHAHA I kid) check it out.

sweet freedom

2005-07-23T11:41:00.000-07:00

To quote martin sexton, "freeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeedooom aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahghhhghhh".

No more school for a few weeks, it's time to do the happy dance. Supplemented by happy water? But ofcourse. Excellent. I think I need counseling, cause school and I have a very love-hate relationship and I don't think it's healthy.

Frued: "Zzo tell me zkhool, how zis it you feel when zhe talks about you like thisz mmm?"
School: "It's just like I'm this thing to be put up with, like he doesn't even understand me."
Me:"Understand you? You're a fucking educational system for christ sake."
School:"See?"
Frued:"I zee, verrry zinteresting."
Me:"Jesus Ch-"
Frued:"I zeeense, maybe to heem you are an outlet for a mothzer comeplex... or a szpoon, it could be he loves a spoon too much... zeh maybe mother, no... no i am pretty sure it's a spoun."
School:"You know, that would explain a lot."
Me:"What...... the...... fuck.. You two are some batty gits"
Frued:"Now now, no ones ziz crazy here"
Me:"The hell there isn't, alright mr. I'llneverbeasgoodasskinnermaslowpavlovORjung, with your retarded complexes, and your ultra lame dream analysis... you got famous by peddling to women what they want to hear. and cocaine. You peddled them coke and silly ideas. If school wasn't so retarded and occasionally exalting people who should best be forgo-"
School:"See? You're so horrrible too me! *cries*"
Me:"I'm sorry baby... I didn't mean it like that... you know I just get frustrated sometimes with all your demands, but I sitll love you"
School:"Oh sweety I love you too!"
Frued:"*crying* zee but, but, proegress wiz out rezolution zis not progress at all... zee need to talk..."
Me:"Shut it perv"
School:"Oh I love you!"
Me:"I love you too... now lets go screwe somewhere dark and uncomfortable"
School:"What, like the back of a volkswagon?"
Me:"uh... sure."

true story

with addled brains,
me.

helllz yeh

2005-07-20T14:12:00.000-07:00

The Uber Geek
You answered 86% of the questions as a geek truly would.

You just completely conquered the geek test. Not only are you a geek,
you're you're proud of it and wear it like a badge. Saying you're
socially awkward is an understatement. Your hobbies include most things
that normal folks cringe at.

You're obsessed with information and details. You'd skip a Friday
night party if it meant getting your latest project finished. Your
intelligence probably intimidates people, and you enjoy spitting out
random trivia to annoy people.

So what does it all mean? Well for one, your claims of being a
geek are true. You were probably picked on - heavily - in high school.
You don't care about fashion, so generally you're easy to spot from a
distance. In social situations, you're either perfectly silent or
ridiculously loud-mouthed (true geeks always fall into the extremes).
Cool people probably laugh at you behind your back, but you take
gratification in knowing most will grow up to become career alcoholics.

In a nutshell, you answered almost every question as a true member
of the geek philosophy. You're geekier than 80% of the population!

My test tracked 1 variable How you compared to other people your age and gender:

You scored higher than 94% on geekness

Link: The True Geek Test written by ambientred on Ok Cupid

Boooo School

2005-07-11T07:36:00.000-07:00

I view my life as jumping on a tampoline, you go up and down, but generally it's fun. Then on occasion you try to do a flip, but instead land on your side, where there's a thorn, called school, and the pain begins. Next thing you know you're howling in pain, no longer even on the trampoline of life but suspended from it as syou stumble stupidly around the yard, mistake your dog for a werewolf, try and jump a fence, tear a whole in the crotchal region of your pants, stumble into the street and get hit by a car and promptly soil yourself. I can't wait to graduate.

dreadfully,
me.

the BBC

2005-07-10T09:08:00.000-07:00

So driving to the Londoner last night to get boozed up I was listening to the BBC and was awestruck by the complex intellligent discussion that was going on between the commentators. (it's like a regular program, like hannity and colmbes or crossfire.... HAAHAHAHA I kid... english readers don't shank me for that (cause they don't have guns)) But the conversation was fascinating, not just in it's nuance, but in it's calm and clear approach. It reminded me of us following 9/11, when honsestly we were anything but calm and clear. Though everyone else seems to, I'm not making presumptions of comparing the two events, and abhor the 'trendiness' of now naming every terrorist bombing with their dates. It just made me really realize that resolution fueled by anger is only as strong as it's source, which inevitably suffers from time and complacency. Resolution fueled by principle through sound reason and clear mind falters under no such reasons. Not only is anger and the desire for retribution foolish in it's inevitable faltering, it clouds the very resolution it fuels. Another attack on america is probably inevitable, especially with the current vector of american foreign policy. Instead of sending condolences and understandings ('we know how you feel') maybe we should actually try to understand the english reaction and take a lesson from the other side of the pond. I think it'll serve us well in the future.

ponderingly,
me.

hmmm...

2005-06-21T23:14:00.000-07:00

So I just watched National Treasure... and it was suprisingly good.

that's all.

nothing funny in this post... well I guess that it wasa good is kind of funny. but not haha funny.

reliving boyhood indiana jones fantasies, (ewww that's gross you sick perverts stop reading my blog with your filthy filthy minds)
me.

p.s. Besides, everyone knows that han solo was delish, it's all about the tight pants and big black gun. indiana jones psssssssshhhhh.

Darfur

2005-06-19T15:35:00.000-07:00

A close friend attended his first funeral, his grandfathers, this weekend. It's always suprising to me to find out how few of those other people go to. An enormous closenit family and other events have lead to more than I care to, or honestly even can, remember. Thinking about this over the weekened has led to a lot of thoughts and 'funtastic' dreams. Some of my earliest memories involve death and laughter interspersed, and I've found through life my own sense of humor to be a great aid in dealing with loss and pain. Maybe, probably even, it's a primary source of my sense of humor. Granted occasonally redirected at a blogpost or girl but always originating in my internal conflict with the world. Given this I find it strange that I can find no humor in others pain. I don't know, maybe humor can only mitigate my own feelings, or my empathic nature simply leaves such feelings too strong and beyond my control. Whatever it is, that sorrow is never more accutely felt than from the pain of the innocent. I had an epiphany of my hypocricy the other day in the protected hollow of liberalism and free thought. (outside helping my dad with yard work, j/king mom, love you) In my laments to my dad I fumed at the lack of outrage on the Bush administration backing off from the 'language of genocide' in referring to Darfur, and their low balling of casualty numbers. It was incomprehensible to me why the masses of america didn't care more. But who am I? And what is caring without action? I was ranting as someone who cares on those who don't, but it's not the case. Americans aren't indifferent, they're simply ignorant. If anyone is indifferent it's me. It reminds of a quote from Boondock Saints, "We must always fear the wicked. But there is another kind of evil that we must fear the most, and that is the indifference of good men." So I guess I have to start somewhere.

The Darfur conflict has claimed close to 380,000 people, and almost 2 million have been displaced from their homes and live in refugee camps. This death toll number is close to 1/20th of the holocaust, larger than any single ethnic cleaning in the holocaust except gentile poles and jews. Next Sunday (6/26/05) I intend to order as many darfur bracelets as I have requests from people. If you read this and would like one please leave a comment here, send me an email/aim (verify I get it though cause my aim dies and I lose messages), or give me a call. They're about $2 a peice, and the purchase money goes to SaveDarfur.org towards public education about the humanitarian crisis. Barring more people than I believe to read this site or even know me requesting a band, I'd like to pay for the bands myself and donate the money people give for the bands to MSF (doctors without borders). The recent popularity of these bands which has even begun to transcend causes may make them seem cliched or even trite, but to me the words they conjur is sincerity and hope.

sincerely,
me.

Gradschooligan's Part something... i need a secretary to keep track. Volunteers?

2005-06-15T20:57:00.000-07:00

So as this week comes to a close I'm aware of one pressing issue. Midterms are next week. Whaaaa? Exactly. 8 week sucks like a hoover on a 48 hour tweek binge. Huh?... Oh. It's true, much like the high rate of teen suicides amongst native americans, vacumes feel the culture wide pressure and resulting depression of being cast aside from society by other cultures like the Roombaians and the Swiferish. Problem number one? Drug abuse. (it would seem the cnn article has been removed, I suspect a cover up by the Man.) I've been to only 4 classes and now a midterm. This is nuts! (Granted there were 5 classes, but I was mounting a Save the Hoovers campaign during one class. Hmm? No... the public works project from an untimely death as a cliche'd tourist destination. Fuck vacumes, have you seen a Roomba?) So it'll be an interesting thing to undertake. But I only have one midterm since my other class is a research course. Hmm.. course recap time.... *doodleydoo doooodleydoo dooodleydoo*(waynesworldsounds) So I signed up for two courses this summer, and two in the fall. It seemed a good idea at the time because they were each interesting and I wouldn't have to round out my graduate eductation with some mind numbing elective like Compiler design... or network calculus (I'd go with ball kicking over mind numbing on that last one actually). So for the summer it's Computer Vision and Data Mining. Little did I know that Data Mining is a research course... so there's no homework, or projects, or midterm. Just a final over the 'broad' information we get through slide lectures and a semester long research 'project', which really isn't a project so much as a question to be investigated. And it isn't really a smester but like 6 weeks.) I just keep telling myself 12 more hours.

laughing heartily at the vacumes plight,
me.

Las peliculas de mi corazon.

2005-06-15T18:28:00.000-07:00

So big gulps huh?
Ah summer, that time of year where the birds are chirping, which in birdish is them laughing at your balls sticking to your leg... and then crying that they don't have balls, children playing nude in the sprinklers, (what? nude children too close to a ballsweat reference? ah... duly noted) and movies descend upon us like a pack of republicans, a few are actually good, most mean well but do evil in the name of more money, and then some are simply too sinister too describe. (Category I II and III as I like to call them) Shall we begin?

StarWars: Episode III (CatII)
Good movie. Fuck Lucas you shitty dialog writer. How fucking pompus are you? If you would give me a dialog screening and rewrite opportunities I'd put a god damn oscar on your desk. *siiiiiiiiiiigh* woooooozah wooozah. But the movie was good, dialog withstanding, and rocked. The scene where anakin finally turns was fucking weak... it just wasn't played right, seemed to forced I guess. It was like, "really? you're turning for that?" Following that thought, I'm so glad lucas didn't pull any punches once he did turn evil. Anakin straight up went ape shit, and was the first time I even saw a hint of darth vader and not darth wineee bitchango. And ofcourse, yoda has another fight, and it was stellar. ILM did a fantastic job, I've never seen reality blurred so well.

High Tension (CatIII)
What
the
fuck.
It was the girl all a long. There, now the shitty ending is ruined. You owe me 8 bucks, two hours... and sexual favors if you're of the opposite sex. (cause for a french horror movie there were no where near enough boobies... 2.)

Mr. & Mrs. Smith (CatII)
Very good movie. Very predictable and light, but who cares? As Leonard something (that film critic said) Pretty guns, pretty people, blowin shit up... I'm entertained. Couldn't have said it better. Oh and I have to find a wife pronto so angelina can homewreck me. errrrrrrrrow... so sexy.

Batman Begins - IMAX (CatI)
Ninjas... do I need to say more?
No.

But I will, cause it rocked. The movie had character development, solid actKatieHolmesing, an awesome job by the guy who plninjasays scarecrow, sweet modern bat gear that reflkatieholmesects real ideas and not the hazy memories of joel shumninjasacher's acid trip down the gay pride parade on cedar springs. Did I mention Katie Holmes and Ninjas? Oh and motherfucking wayne manner. I love houses that just like... scream carnegie or vanderbuilt. A really great movie that hopefully has revived the franchise. Oh and the IMAX, as always, rocks the casbar.

some vanderbilt links for ya:
The Breakers
Vanderbilt Mansion
and of course... Biltmore.

envisioning my manse,
me.

By the light of zues! (oh my god i'm alive)

2005-06-01T14:04:00.000-07:00

So moving sucked, so many boxes to carry it took 3 days straight and is not something I'm looking forward to doing again. So late last night as we were finishing up quite possibly the worse thunder storm I've seen since I was a child hit campus. Rain was blowing almost to our front door (you would be soaked if you even attempted to go down the stairs on that side of the building), water was being pushed away from drains by the wind, and lightning was crashing down everywhere... including near by. Thank god for the saburban cause I would have been screeeewed in the saturn.

late for class,
me.

iBoredom5000XXXextremeedition!

2005-05-22T00:28:00.000-07:00

Only a name so fancy could encompass my boredom. My month off was suppose to be more fun than this, but I guess that leaves me with plenty of encouragement to pack. Said boredom has resulted in a great number of films being consumed, and I must say Finding Neverland is an awesome movie. Confessions of a Dangerous Mind is not too shabby. Hulk is... well... hulk make me angry... me not like hulk... hulk baaaaad... ang lee baaaad... hulk look like retardicon.... me highly flabergasted. Hulk like Jennifer Connelley! Hulk marry jennifer connelley! Hulk have hulkbabies with jennifer connelley!! Hulk horny! (did he just switch from a first person hulk-esque narrative to a hulk incharacter narative? yes I did you bloody nitwit, it is called creative liscensing and I'll have no more of your speaking out of turn thank you very much. fine. indeed. good. well then that's settled. the hell it is... did you just say hulk horney in a blog? Creative liscensing aggrements dammit! pay attention.) So yes, a few more days of break and moving, but boredom runs rampant. What shall I ever do...

bored to the point of rambling in a blog,
me.

Fuck you paris hilton.

2005-05-21T13:46:00.000-07:00

Jesus, what the fuck is wrong with women? Why do so many insist in trying to acheive a standard set by the basest, worse elements of our society? For fucks sake, how can you want to measure yourself to the grading scale of the porn industry, whore socialites, and worse of all, the rag paper media. (US, Sun, People, EW, etc) What garnered such outrage? The discovery of some before and after pictures of one ms. lindsey lohan, formerly one of the hottest girl in the world. But oh, I won't just make outrageous claims, I'll lay it out for you here and now:
BEFORE:

AFTER:

This blows my mind. God I wish i could believe that she just has developed a coke habit. As fucked up as that would be, it'd still be better than some conscious choice to change yourself like this to try to appeal to some fucked up ideal. Is there no personal reponsibility and self assurance left in the world? Nevermind social responsibility for your god damn neighbor. Why is there not a fucking outrage? And I don't mean a horseshit expose in one of the afforementioned rag mags that are intended just to sell more issues. Just the other day I was flipping channels when that retarded 'the making of' house of wax show was on, and paris hilton was fucking 'suprising' a birthday girl who was having a 'paris hilton' party.
what

the

fuck.
A party, where all the twelve year old girls dress up like an ignorant, spoiled superslut. And the mom approved of this? "It's a theme, have your girl dress like a whore..." yeah, like that would fly. (fuck, maybe it would, some people shouldn't be allowed to have kids). But wait, let me consult my thesaurus... yup, parishilton, is in fact, synonymous with whore. I didn't include another picture which included ms richie right alongside ms. lohan every bit as 'coked' out on some carpet. Why would you aspire to a girl who knows only two words, "thats" and "hot"? (honestly people, I think she believes the two to be one word)

It's just so sad and tragic and fucked up.

crying on the inside,
me.

p.s. And don't anyone dare try to blame society, the only blame that is owed to society is for allowing it to happen, not in the causation.

Grad Schooligans part Duex!!!

2005-05-20T14:24:00.000-07:00

I usually don't reuse material... I don't know, mostly cause I instantly become self critical and with every reading grow to dislike what I wrote more and more... hehe except when I'm drunk, drunk emails crack me up.... anyways, so I'm going against my own grain here, but I thought it was funny so maybe that's a sign... good or bad? who knows...

*factoid* distant relatives of the soccer hooligan, grad-schooligans are believed to share a common ancestry dating back to early 1500s, at which point scientists believe there was an evolutionary fork creating the gradschooligan who chose academia, then emerging on european continent, over sport. Common traits between the two species include heavy drinking, avoidance of "work", and a distaste for "the man". While considerably less aggressive than the soccerhooligan, gradschooligans are known to react quite violently when provoked usually over issues of theoretical physics, star wars debates, or political issues of third world countries (see liberalartemus a 'culture' within the gradschooligan species). Though less violent than their sporting counterpart, they do retain the innate ingenuity to turn any near by object into an explosive burning mass to be propelled at the enemy, a behavior commonly found in observations of the soccerhooligan.

distasting the man,
me.

The force is strong with this one.

2005-05-20T09:39:00.000-07:00

Episode III rocked. I stand by that I should get final approval on all Lucas films, because their are inevitably 'lucas-lines' that instantaneously you are kind of knocked out of the movie from a giant gob of cheese, and realize how 3 words rearranged would have made that a great line, but luckily no one talks much. :) Infact, there is only a small set of scenes where there isn't a lightsabre blazing. And yes, Jar jar does not talk. But he does live. :( (he's actually not really in the movie at all) By far the best of the prequels, everyone should go watch it.

Seeking the path of a jedi,
me.

Flashback

2005-05-08T15:56:00.000-07:00

hehe... a flashback for ya... Carp web development circa 96 - 97.
http://www.geocities.com/TelevisionCity/5572/

Victory is mine!!!!

2005-05-04T10:14:00.000-07:00

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHHAHA!!!

I made a B in all three classes, I fucking rock. That's right modesty is out the window for this post. A six month warcraft addiction that resulted in homework for none of the classes to be done, a 50 on one project, and none of my books even being cracked up to a week before midterms, and I made Bs. Soooooo sexy, ladies you can leave your numbers stage right, and underwear stage left.

Rockin out with my cock out,
me.

oh and for the ladies, after the show I'll be hangin out with my wang out. errrrrrow.

I can't feel my face!!!!

2005-05-02T22:15:00.000-07:00

wee, go drunk... oh no, I have noon game tomorrow... I beliebe in I... hehe, if you haven't seen Con yet, everyone go watch it. no mopre school... till june, but that's a whole month. Go months!!! fuck those romans, if they had made it 10... I'd get... uh.... (evidently if you can't feel yer face you ca't do math either) uh... ok, 30... x2... so 60, divided by 10 is.... 6. wat? I'd only get 6 more days? eh... I'll take what I can get... now I must go back in time and make my adjustments. On thats noteI must invent hehe, Chapelle show! season 3 starts may31st yo.... ... but yes, must invent a time machine to go back in time... and change months! haha! I will own months!!! and you will all be sorry! fear me!!!!.... and my months! haHa!

travelin through time, (and pondering how time travel affects me buz... oh god!! i's that m&m minis' girl!!! someone protect me! ahhhhhh)
me

TufF indeed.

2005-05-01T18:39:00.000-07:00

Sunday was the elemenation rounds of regionals for college ultimate, and for a reason I don't entirely know yet, they were held at UTD. There was pool play saturday, but I ended up seeing Kung Fu Hustle with Kristen instead. We missed the first round, but made it in time for the semi's. UT TufF (ranked 10th[nation]) went hand in hand with OU the first half, then stomped them out the second half. (15-8 I think) Then came the finals... dum Dum DUM. Kansas did a pretty solid job early on exploiting UT's cup and hitting long throws, however UT showed again a surging second half and ended the game 15-9. UT's speed (game, not running) was really impressive. They'd frequently go through 6-8 passes in like ten seconds with nonstop solid cuts. The whole day rocked, and made me really miss ultimate. Thank god classes are over and I can play more (well, I have that pesky final tomorrow... maybe I should study... ). Anyways, if you ever get the chance to check out college ultimate, I highly advise it.

going ho, (sexily I might add)
me.

Sweet Merciful Crap

2005-04-28T20:11:00.000-07:00

Giddy school girl? Is... is that it? Let me check my good friend...

gid·dy Pronunciation Key
adj. gid·di·er, gid·di·est

1. Having a reeling, lightheaded sensation; dizzy.
2. Causing or capable of causing dizziness: a giddy climb to the topmast.
Frivolous and lighthearted; flighty.

school·gir Pronunciation Key
n.

A girl attending school.

yup, that is indeed it. So, I went to the Martin Sexton concert, and it was infuckingcredible. I was doing ok early.. sure I was crushing a bit on the opening act chick (Sonya Kitchell), but it was just a cool night. Then martin sexton comes out and next thing you know I have a big smile on my face and am weak in the knees... school girl indeed. (if you click on no other link, click on that one... errrrow) He did an insane performance, and oh i do mean isane. Like... insane... he did this thing, where he sings into a mic with effects on it and he recreates electric guitar solos as he plays rhythm on guitar.. it was insane. Have I mentioned it was insane? The man has sooooo much soul. If you don't really know Martin Sexton, I'd suggest checking out the album Live Wide Open through whatever means you procure music. You'll be a convert fo' shizzle. On a side note, there was this cute chick up front dancing crazy and I realized I'm extremely attracted to that. I've really come to realize that there's something about girls who are quirky and have that energy that really sucks me in. (yeah, that's right, I ended it in a preposition, you wanna fight about it?)
Finals are over, so I should start posting more again, so stay tuned faithful public.

looking for a quirk (and making paper anime dolls until then... mmm sexy),
me.

p.s. David Blaine is a pimp, I bet he gets mad ass.

Grad Schooligans

2005-03-29T09:29:00.000-08:00

The life of a grad student... it's something I've missed out on so far really. I don't know if it's a symptom from the fast track program, or the fact that all my friends are graduated and have jobs, but it is something I haven't really had a chance to experience yet. With that said, I've decided to reprioritize my life accordingly.

1) School, A.I., and Intelligent Systems: Thus far I've just be scraping by in gradschool. I started college as an undergrad fascinated with computers, computer science was the butter to my bread, the who'e to my pimptastic right hand, the milk to my cow tite..... yes so, at some point it became something I studied for my class, and not really a passion. What's odd though is there was no loss of interest, no found boredom per se, it just some how happened. So first on the list is to refocus on school and exploring all their is to learn.

2) Wokring out: "You aint got no job, and you aint got shit to do" it's bloody true. In addition to studying a lot more, and exploring smaller interests, I need to get back into shape. Post on that later....

3) Guitar, having fun, etc. Man, I don't have a job, I'm free now as I was my first day in college, and I need to start acting like it and make the most of my time left in this magical little bubble. To that end, I need to find more things to do and stop spending so much time just sitting around doing nothing.

4) eh... on four, I really can't count past 3 when it comes to priorities, so I guess I'll have to leave it with the above.

Prioritasticly,
me

Maroon 4.5

2005-03-20T09:53:00.000-08:00

So me, Rachel and Kristen went to see Maroon5 on Saturday (along with some of her gradschool friends). The sorted details of that fated night shall soon not be unforgotten {law&order sounds}

8:00 Nokia Live theatre
So the Donnas opened for Maroon5 and it reminded me of how bad I always feel for opening bands. I'm so much more a fan of the coheadlining approach ala John Mayer and Counting Crows from last year. The problem of the opening band is one of math really. There's essentially a threshold at which a concert becomes good. The sum value receives many inputs, but is essentially measured in average energy level per the following: ( X=(E/dx)/dt) where X > epsilon (the threshold) assuming E to be a function that describes energy per it's inputs (good performance, highschool girls screaming, etc)
Now the inherent problem lies in the fact that for a large venue (where 'opening bands' usually end up playing before big bands), the epsilon value is ridiculously high, and is on an order of magnitude higher than the band's set of inputs combined. Without the set of audience inputs the opening band really doesn't have much of a shot. (which individually are of much smaller magnitude then the bands, but which when combined, by the definition of theatre capacity, scale in order with the epsilon-threshold value)
Case in point, before the concert I glanced through The Donnas' blog on napster and they were talking about the incredible energy, etc from their own small venue tour, which they sadly don't get in a big venue. Poor poor opening bands. But they do get enhanced exposure, which could have future benefits... but I've dorked up this post enough already, so I'll defer analysis on that one.

Soo... Maroon 4.5 oh wait, my stupid law&order theme...
deing douing>{law&order sounds}

9:30ish Nokia Live theatre

So Maroon 4.5, we were greeted not by the usual sudden intro into song with flashing lights but by Adam Levine alone on a dark stage with a spotlight... well I was thinking shakesperian soliloquy (hehe stupid blogspot spell checker sooo won't know that one). Turns out instead that earlier in the day he had been working out with those stretch band things attached to a door when someone opened the door it popped the carribeaner into his chest leaving a 'laceration' and a fractured sternum. So basically he said he was going to do his best and play for as long as he could. Which led way for some humorous intersong banter as he described how drugged up on pain killers he was, and how he felt like Ozzie due to his immobility. None the less they did a sweet job on a shorter than normal set. Then for some reason, their drummer has been injured, but in a way that he can't play drums, but can play guitar and sing... who knows. Anyways, so once adam clearly couldn't do much more, he headed back stage and their normal drummer (who had been chilling backstage) came out and they did Seven Nation Army (White Stripes) followed by Highway to Hell (AC/DC) which were both badass. On Highway to Hell their lead guitarist jumped stage and went running through the entire lower level of the venue. (it was hilarious to watch out of shape ushers trying to chase him, god bless our fucked up civil legal court system). Of course the teenyboppers left in mass once Adam went off stage because they have no music appreciation, but it made for bearable traffic afterwards so it was good. If you have napster, maroon5 has another live version of Highway to Hell you could check out. Both songs were done incredibly well and it was an awesome way to end the concert.

Top of the schmornin to ye laardieshesses

2005-03-20T07:48:00.000-08:00

Ah St. Patties... that magical time of the year where dallasites hang up their image obsessed culture to get really scholsched... or maybe it just brings others out of the woodwork to dilute the snoberati either way, bars are funner (oh yes, I used it) and more reminiscent of austin for this one magical day. St. Patties also brings on powers of drink that can conquer even the greatest of drinkers. I myself fell prey just last year to St. Patties... I thought I had enough supergreen gear on, with my leprechaun hat and my iron-on clover+claddagh shirt, but sadly not. This year I wouldn't be deterred! But what you might ask could top a festive hat and a new iron-on shirt ("Boof me I'm german Irish")? A cape! Yes, you read that right. After all what supergear is super without an appropriate supercape? So with time dwindling I set out to walmart, acquired the last of their quality st patties gear and headed home. After acquiring the sewing prowless of my mom, while getting a few good laughs as she would repeatedly verbally berate her sewing machine, my supergear was in full effect. You can get a chronological picturing of my supergear through out the night at Tool's blog. Now one might say, "but you're clearly trashed by the IHOP pic... some supergear that is!" to which I must remind you, "aha, but can wolverine not bleed? can he not even have his adamantium skeleton ripped from his body in X-men #25 of the fatal attraction series, but does he die? Nay!" Supergear is about the triumph of good over evil, and in this case the evil is being sick from booze. Triumph indeed.

TheGreenAvenger,
me.

p.s. The random older people in those pics on tool's blog were random people we just met at the bar that we invited to join our table. Something that doesn't happen when lights don't shine quite so green in dallas. (being at a cool bar helped also)

Tuopmac

2005-03-13T16:39:00.000-08:00

The campout was this weekend and it was pretty sweet. Friday night was awesome the early push actually worked and everyone was there on time and people were sloshed. I'd like to thank the OG JC for channeling the magic of campfire punch through me, it has been a great gift from god for every campout. I'm hoping for lottery numbers for the next time. :) So... campout, Friday was sweet, everyone was drunk. Saturday I've never seen sooo many grown men shamelessly hold their crotches in front of 8 year old girls innocently playing on the beach. The lake water was retarded cold and everyone who emerged were grasping their crotches with hope of parts still being functional. (for all you ladies who are worried, I didn't go in the water so I'm functional and willing :-D ) Saturday night everyone wussed out and didn't drink... and went to bed early. But drinking alone in the woods was a nice change of pace, so I guess it's all good. So now a lesson...

How to correctly plan, acquire, and use campout bedding.
1) Check the air mattress to make sure it actually works before the camp out.

2) Blow up your air mattress before getting completely sloshed, otherwise you're done in 3 breaths and sleeping on steel.

3) If you blow up your mattress then 3 hours later it's flat, don't assume that if you blow it up again and goto sleep on it you won't be sleeping on steel in an hour and a half... because you will, and it will suck.

4) Don't sleep on steel. I know what you're thinking, "Isn't that mattress company called Steely, it's suppose to be good for your back right?" But I've come to learn that is not actually their name, and sleeping on steel is in fact bad for your back... and hip, and face... pretty much everything. Seriously, go find rocks in the woods and sleep across them before sleeping on a steel ridged floor in the back of a suburban.

And now for a story... So courtesy of my steal bed I was up early on sunday and packing/cleaning so I could get everyone on the road as early as possible, and in so doing what did I see? A miniherd of deer came running through the shrubbery right next to the camp. It's quite amazing to see six or seven deer run 15-25mph slaloming through trees 10-15 yards in front of you. They always seem so not bouncy and unagile when you see them eating along the road. That's their trick you see, they lure you in thinking thusly and then they agile you to death! muwahahahaha beware the dear and their agilitamatic powers. My alliance with them is complete, once I acquire the friendship of the raccoon lords you're all gonna pay.... what? raccoon lords can be easily bought with trash and left overs? those damn dirty procyonides (gratz wikipedia).

Plotting my revenge against the raccoon lords,
me.

beautifumacation

2005-03-11T08:13:00.000-08:00

ok, so I guess the site is working now, except it's not. Because Microsoft blows donkeys on weekend trips to south of the border... it's true, I'm surprised you didn't know that. Anyways, so IE won't load the page right, so use Mozilla. You honestly should be using it anyways because it's vastly better than IE. Any small setup steps you may have to take (probably won't) over IE are good for computer literacy.

I think Microsoft has reached a crossroad per se, where they either need to scale down and spin off or reinvent the big business. As it currently stands I think they're approaching a critical mass. They have the resources and ability to produce really significant and competitive product, for example C# and the .Net framework. However they are becoming symptomatic of a large eye that casts it's gaze too wide. Way too many of their products are lagging both in a technology aspect and in a fit&polish aspect. Case in point: google is spanking msn search, firefox is spanking IE, windows media heavily lacks in the fit&polish section, etc. The whole thing reeks of the old big tech companies who floundered at the end of last decade. So, microsoft now has a choice of floundering like novell, Dec, packardbell, etc or reinvent and rejuvenate a la TI and IBM.

- Wen Rawks

And so it begins...

2005-03-08T13:05:00.000-08:00

Well, I've done and lemmingized myself and acquired a blog. Well, I guess it's not that lemmingish since I had these way before they were even called blogs... but I digress. I'm back and I'm sexyier than ever with a sexyier than ever blog... well eventually maybe. In the mean time it's templataism for me.

So why the deuce do I need a blog? I don't, I also don't need omnimpotence, but I will acquire both successfully. So what am I going to put here? Well, barring dying in epic bellicose battles with ninjas, or dragons, or ninjas with dragon heads that breathe fire and throw shurikens at the same time!.. where was... oh yes, baring that, I guess I'll put my adventures in escapism, my treatiseses on things, and more than a fair amount of social commentary I'm sure.

Things to look forward to in the future:
...
that is all.

Slaying draginjas since a toddler,
me.