Tuopmac

The campout was this weekend and it was pretty sweet. Friday night was awesome the early push actually worked and everyone was there on time and people were sloshed. I'd like to thank the OG JC for channeling the magic of campfire punch through me, it has been a great gift from god for every campout. I'm hoping for lottery numbers for the next time. :) So... campout, Friday was sweet, everyone was drunk. Saturday I've never seen sooo many grown men shamelessly hold their crotches in front of 8 year old girls innocently playing on the beach. The lake water was retarded cold and everyone who emerged were grasping their crotches with hope of parts still being functional. (for all you ladies who are worried, I didn't go in the water so I'm functional and willing :-D ) Saturday night everyone wussed out and didn't drink... and went to bed early. But drinking alone in the woods was a nice change of pace, so I guess it's all good. So now a lesson...

How to correctly plan, acquire, and use campout bedding.
1) Check the air mattress to make sure it actually works before the camp out.

2) Blow up your air mattress before getting completely sloshed, otherwise you're done in 3 breaths and sleeping on steel.

3) If you blow up your mattress then 3 hours later it's flat, don't assume that if you blow it up again and goto sleep on it you won't be sleeping on steel in an hour and a half... because you will, and it will suck.

4) Don't sleep on steel. I know what you're thinking, "Isn't that mattress company called Steely, it's suppose to be good for your back right?" But I've come to learn that is not actually their name, and sleeping on steel is in fact bad for your back... and hip, and face... pretty much everything. Seriously, go find rocks in the woods and sleep across them before sleeping on a steel ridged floor in the back of a suburban.


And now for a story... So courtesy of my steal bed I was up early on sunday and packing/cleaning so I could get everyone on the road as early as possible, and in so doing what did I see? A miniherd of deer came running through the shrubbery right next to the camp. It's quite amazing to see six or seven deer run 15-25mph slaloming through trees 10-15 yards in front of you. They always seem so not bouncy and unagile when you see them eating along the road. That's their trick you see, they lure you in thinking thusly and then they agile you to death! muwahahahaha beware the dear and their agilitamatic powers. My alliance with them is complete, once I acquire the friendship of the raccoon lords you're all gonna pay.... what? raccoon lords can be easily bought with trash and left overs? those damn dirty procyonides (gratz wikipedia).


Plotting my revenge against the raccoon lords,
me.