movies movies movies

Wow... I'm so movied out it's not even funny. Which is going to make writting this post long and painful if it's going to be funny... which it probaly won't.... but still read, cause there are movies.. and stuff, I should be a salesman.

so... I've done FF, WotW, batman, and smiths... did I do Sky High? Oh it was a sidenote, well then, i guess I'll start there.

So first up on the block, Sky High. At first glance this may look like a SpyKids type movie, but it's really not. Granted it's still child friendly (unlike the movies below) but it has solid jokes and superpowers. I'm a sucker for superpowers, and not to mention hot chicks. They play highschool students, but they're all over age.... I think. And ofcourse, Kurt Russel & Bruce Campbell in roles that give them one liners is just so dreammy. *daydreams of Big Trouble in Little China and Army of Darkness*

Next up to bat, big Duecy goes to Amsterdam in Duece Bigalow: European Gigalow. Now, I didn't like this movie that much. Why? well sure it was not a great plot... or acting... or direciton... but mostly because it shows the grittier side of the gigalow underground, where you're hired to please women who aren't being pleased elsewhere. The idea that you are not actually paid to get busy with beautiful women ruins my dre- ... dream of seeing a good movie that day. yesss.. that's it. Though like anything from the happy madison productions there's some good jokes, but not enough to justify theatre prices.

Now lets roll down remake lane, it's a circle drive actually not a lane... or is it a circle jerk... cause that would explain some things... Bewitched, not too bad, I enjoyed it but a lot of people didn't. Nicole Kidman is hilarious and I want to have Will Ferrels babies. No, no wait... no ok, I got that right. Willie Wonka & the chocolate factory I'm sitll not sure on. I am sure that it wasn't better than the first. The first was a classic, this will not be. No amount of argument or thought can change this fact that what makes a movie classic is a feeling far more intangible than something that can be quantitatively measured or qualitatively described. I think I would have liked the movie more if the umpa lumpa's were more scary. Their songs just weren't dark enough to sell it I guess. Visually stunning, emotionally empty. If you wanted to make it as great as the original the key was to make parents think it was a great movie to show their children and give the children nightmares. That's classic.

And next we'll be popping caps in peoples asses. Collateral (dvd) and Four Brothers both fucking rocked. They both have a pacing and action level akin to old action movies before they became hyper-violent uzifests. Think die hard or dirty harry. Jamie Fox did an incredible job acting, as did all the people in Four Brothers, especially Walberg and Andre3000(benjamin). And gun shots! Both movies had some of the best, most visceral gun shots in memory. Both movies also didn't pull punches with people dying. Dying good. Boom good. Movies good.

When people get shot, they die cause their body is broke. And then you send flowers to the funeral. Which oddly enough brings us to our next movie, Broken Flowers. (eh? see how I did that? write that down) Broken Flowers is another movie I'm not too sure about. I guess you could call it a cross between About Schmidt and Lost in Translation. The problem is it doesn't have the pacing that either film does, which is sad because I think Bill Murray pulls off an even more nuanced performance than himself (LiT) or Nicolson (AS). As Wes accurately noted, there's not much of a soundtrack, though he just called me a sack of poo on aim... as I my own filmic genius discovered, there's no soundtrack like in lost in translation, but there's not as much actual things happening like in About Schmidt. So it has the long pauses of LiT, but the absence of music during emotional scenes from Schmidt. (though I think even About Schmdit had more of a soundtrack) A thumbs up though for Alexis Dziena who's character is fully neked and walking around the room. Despite being named Lolita, she's overage... I think.

I need sex. But not a much as this guy. (no, seriously... ladies I'm now accepting applications, I'm an equal orgasmictunities employer that offers a 69k plan, and full mental coverage {cause girls are krrazy! teehe}) No but really, 40 Year Old Virgin is seriously giving Wedding Crashers a run for funniest movie of the summer. It's hard to judge, cause they're kind of different styles, but I'm leaning towards 40YOV. I love how both this movie and Wedding Crashers avoid the now overplayed somethingaboutmary/americanpie gross out humor. You laugh cause you're brain is tickled, not because it's a nervous reaction to keeping vomit down. With Chapelle show on indefinite hiatus we have a new champion for line you hear on campususes this fall to be used waaaay too much: "you know how i know you're gay? . . .". And like the trend champ that I am, ofcourse I'm gonna be an early adopter.

You know how I know you're gay? You read my blog. AHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAH! ...oh :-/


And finally, the fanciest for last, the Aristocrats. This movie is so fucking hilariously wrong it's right. It is extremely profane, so if you have issues with that do not see the movie. You won't enjoy it, you'll either walk out, or wish you were walking out but realize you're lame and worry too much about what other people think... which might actually be good cause you'll at least get the point from the movie by staying. Anyways, it is basicly a documentary based on a famous vaudville joke. In addition to just being funny, the movie casually analyzes how jokes change from comedian to comedian, the secrets of timing and language in jokes, etc. It was particularly funny to hear the audience reaction (Magnolia@WestVillage), which played up great with certain incest and sex jokes which wouldn't play as well at say Legacy(north plano), but didn't seem to laugh at the gay bahsing jokes. Everyone has their own unique line, and this movie pushes each persons own. Brilliant.

trying to refocus my eyes,
me.