awwww fuck me

No really, I swear I'm cooler than this. Seriously! Come on... I'm a cool guy, really I promise! But uh... yeah I have more movies.

If I was cooler I'd be drunk and have red eyes, but I'm not... so I was watching Red Eye. And Mr. Craven is back! After taking a detour in spoofville and a picnic in the greenlight distric, he's back to his genre. This was really more a good suspense/action movie, than a horror movie. Rachel McAdams is hooo..ooo-oot. Who'd have thunk the girl from mean girls and the hot chick would suddenly end up a star in two of the biggest movies of the summer. (also in Wedding Crashers) I did mind you, but that's cause I'm psychic! Beware my powers! I can talk to pets and infer information by your reactions to letters of the alphabet!

Pets! Of the sea! Don't feed the killer whales! No it won't give them indigestion, I don't think anything can give them indigestion. Including you! They will kill you if you try to feed them... oh you'll feed them... your first born child. Don't fuck with those things.... Oh, I saw Deep Blue. The less famous bigger brother of March of the Penguins. It was a gorgeous film that showed the full spectrum of the ocean life. Highlights include the rolling rave fish (cause they blink like trance lights) in the deep ocean, a polar bear (the fiercest kill of the animal kingdom) trying to take out whales, and killerwhales taking out EVERYTHING. Those fuckers are mean, highlight of the meanness: killerwhale, we'll call him Willy launches a baby seal, we'll call him booboo, though pooor bastard may be more accurate... anywyas, launching booboo with his tail at least 4-5 stories (30-40 ft) into the air like a rag doll.

Poor baby seals... it was a very Grimm sight. Eh? eh? I'm clever. Brothers Grimm was a fantastic, imaginative, Willow-PrincessBride hybrid crap of a movie. Don't get me wrong, I really enjoyed it a lot. And it was a great fairy tail that, as you can tell by my dated references they just don't make many of now a days. (I blame 3D-animation) But man it was a horribly cut film. I don't want to say directed, because the cinematography and direction in scene are great, but it's pacing is all over the place the story seems choppy, etc. So first, be able to watch a MOVIE and suspend belief, second be prepared for an erratic pacing, and you'll get a pretty good movie.

oh god my corneas,
me.