If my weekend was in a cock fight with your weekend it'd gouge your weekends eyes out with its claws and feast on its souls robot chicken style.

This past week(end) was awesome. I paid for it greatly with a 40 minute raging charlie horse at like 6am this morning that I can still feel ghosts of in my head, but the price you pay when you carry the burden of having so much fun.

So now young children we'll take a journey, to a time long ago in the ye olden days of thursday. Rachems had finished her finals and so in the time true tradition of finalslochmasikuh (once a pagan holiday celebrating the grape harvest adapated by the Jews as a celebration of the mechanical pencil that had one cm piece left but miracilously lasted through the entire MCATs for the King Jacob... really just a boy from the bronx with a grandiose '80s hiphop alter-ego, and also adopted by the Church as Jesus' passing his water walking exam) we ventured forth to drink. What better place to celebrate such a solemn holiday than the Old Monk. Not only does the awesome miss jenn work there, always a plus, but they have great beer and liquor, awesome patios, and assuming the weathers nice (thus enabling the patio function) not too crowded. Being on knox it also misses the bulk of the stripeyshirtguy (© theJenn LLC) collective of uptown. Kristen, et al. also joined us, and it was good to see James and Lilian. Now, this is the point that if you're under 17 you best lock your door so your parents don't catch you..... err, I mean stop reading. I have a confession, I want to have sweet sexy raunchy sex with Chocalate Truffles. MMmmmmm trufflesex. Wha? You know not of the sexufied Truffles? My dear lads and lasses, the Chocolate Truffles sexyness is unparalleled, it would literally destroy our silly little planet (if sherman -williams doesn't do it first... more on that to come) were it not kept in balance by the Magic of Speedballs. The Chocolate Truffle is no other than Young's Double Chocolate Stout, mixed with Lindemans Framboise Lambic. And get this, it tastes like chocolate rasberry truffles! Oh but wait, its dark and to the untrained eye that can't detect the faint purple tint it looks like your drinking a guiness! That's right on the outside you can look like a maucho stout drinking badass, while on the inside your soul gets to skip like a lilly school girl through fields of metaphorical daisies while singing your favoritest musicals. Once Jenn was cut, a smaller cadre of us hit up the Dubliner for a last round of drinks. Like the Old Monk misses a bulk of the uptown crowd, the Dubliner's location misses a nice bit of the greenville crowd, and made for a chill night cap of scotch and drunk irish guys singing songs.

Friday was fairly uneventful, hung out with the rents, took a few naps, and then visisted rachel at the addison humperdinks. The End.

Saturday began with pizza at Fireside Pies. To be truthful saturday began weeks ealier somewhere in the atlantic that brought such stellar gorgeous weather. Riding down to knox, with the sunroof open, and listening to Prairie Home Companion there's only one word for it: Shibby. Even trying to find a parkingspot couldn't bring me down. I did find a spot eventually, in the sherman-williams parking lot. Put aside your davinci code, forget about your illuminati conspiracies, I've got the real deal: Sherman-williams is trying to take over the world.
Exhibit A)

Exhibit B) Do I really need an exhibit B? Look at it! They want to cover the earth with their red red 'paint'. Quickly! Fetch your foil hats, its your only chance. Check my blog for updates to this conspiracy (or I'll just get lazy like I did with the whole duck car conspiracy.... besides ignorance is bliss). After a brief interlude, I met up with rachems and jenn at the Gingerman where we had a beer out back. We then stopped by the Idle and had some carbombs with Stevie since she was bartending. After that we took off to the Slip Inn. I drove by myself and was running a bit behind rachel and jenn, as I walked to the door I did my patented pocket pat (teehee gogogadget consonance) and my heart sunk. fat square (wallet), little square (razr), multisquare(camera), pokies... pokes? where are the keys? And with that I realized I had just locked my keys in the car. In my frustration with Slip Inn parking I had left my keys on the seat, after talking shit about parking earlier not getting me down it had taken its bloody revenge when I had my back turned. After falling to my knees and shaking my fists in rage at the sky screaming "damn you parking" I set out to find a locksmith. Locksmithing is a curious buisness. I took me about 13 calls before I found a reputable sounding locksmith, one of my favorites was about call seven when a gruff voice answered the phone and I asked, "is this the locksmith?" and he answered, "depends" at which point I figured it best I hang up. So I ordered via text message a double scotch on the rocks while I waited, which rachel evidently got for free because of how hot it was a girl ordering a double scotch on the rocks. It was just like the beer commmercial! So the guys come, open my door in like 30 seconds (I need me some disreputable skills) and I had my keys back. I wasn't sure if rachel had gotten my scotch so I went ahead and ordered a double as I passed the bar, then made my way to the back to find Rachel and Jenn. As I settled into the booth, double fisting doubles of scotch, one free by way of hotness, in a dark club with a great DJ, sitting with two beautiful ladies a small grin crept upon my face as I thought, "Your powers are no match for my own, you will never beat me Parking, never."

Sushday, as I've renamed Sundays due to the awesome special on Sushi at Cafe Japon was the cap of a great weekend. I went to sushi with kristen, steve, nadia and ElBlacko. Sushi was good and cheap per the norm. Afterwards McWhiteyton(me), ElBlacko and the Todd headed to the gypsy for an incredible concert. Joined by mark, the opening act played. Usually I'd make a pro or negative comment about the opening act, but honestly energy must be put into the Martin portion, so he was Trevor Hall, chech him out.
Martin Sexton was fooking sweet. It was great that he was back over in the Tea Room instead of in the bloody Ballroom. Not only does the Tea Room have way less random drunk jackasses, its small venue allows for a more intimate with a direct connection with the audience. Also since he was headlining, he had a much longer set and more freedom in his songs. The concert was truly incredible, possibly due to having family present he played more at ease and open than at the last concert. Like always his infinitibillion octives, voice-replicated instrumentals, call-and-repeat with the audience, and incredible guitar skills floored me. If I had to come up with one word to describe the performance it'd have to be soulfolkincarnate. If I were a wordsmith I might be able to really capture the pefromance... but I'm not, I'm a nerd... so I captured it digitally!

Don't want you to pull a muscle having a songasm, so we'll warm up with some pictures...





The Things You Do to Me...


In the Journey...


Rock on.

using the lightside of the Force to trump Emperor Parkingtine since 1997,
me.