A detailed and vague account of my escapist adventures, my treatise's on the world, social commentary, and homage to ninjas, dragons, and ninjas with dragon heads.

Tuesday, June 27, 2006

Kiss Me: I'm socially acceptable.

So, I figured this time I'd try a post with a little less de La Copa Mundial. You american heathens aren't getting off completely, but I'll try to color it with stories and Carponian tomfollery... or carpfoolery. So ultimate is going great. This week I decided to goto the big boy(and girl) field, much to the chagrin of my shins. Boy were they pissed and crying like a little anime kid... the disc was pissed too, because you get real throws and real catches on the big field and my disc was warped (aka taco'd) and out of the game by the third point. Notto mention my hands were blubbering retarded dropping some passes, and... well it really just looked like this:



But it was all good cause my soul looked like this:



I can't wait till I get back in shape and to top form.

So our washer is a bit under the weather so I did laundry at a laundromat the other day. This was the coolest place ever, the guy there was wearing corderoy pants and a flarey polyesterish shirt, the place had fiberglass chairs everywhere, and get this: pac-man, frogger, and a host of other classic original arcade games. It was like walking into the seventies and had I known I would have brought more quarters and some fro gel. Unfotunately I didn't so instead I began to reread the Alchemist. If you've never read this book, I can't recommend it enough it is such a great book and ranks as one of my favoritest ever.

"and when each day is the same as the next, it's because people fail to recognize the good things that happen in their lives every day that the sun rises."

So saturday night I accompanied ms crow and la tesla to tim's place for some Malibu Most Wanted viewing and curry eating. Afterwards we flipped the switch and hit up the Amsterdam first instead of as the usual evening closer. Yup there was some speedball sexyness going on, people were going both ways with youngs and guiness, it was practically a speedballorgy. Man I love the lights there, I can't wait to get a house and eclecticize the living crap out of it. It'll be like a test, you'll either fall in love with the place or fail miserably by way of vomiting before you can even get past the entry way. I'll still love you though because I'm almost certain my mom will fail and I have to still love her (though after yesterday's conversation we'll see, more to come...) so everyone else will get a by too. On our way to Slipp Inn we decided to stop in at the Monkey Bar which is a pretty chill place. The best I can describe this is imagine if you took a tikki bar and combined it with an ultralounge... bear with me... and then added some eclectic 'trendy dive bar' music/mixing. After that we hit up the Slipp Inn and jeebus was it packed. I think that was the most packed I've ever seen the place, and it was balls hot. Also our crazy bartender who's given free drinks to women ordering double scotches for it being 'so hot', examined my torn pieces of napkin balls to see if they were snortable, and generally pours great was MIA. There was also a preponderance of 'crunk' hiphop compared to normal. Despirte all this it was still a good time. This, kiddos, is the magic of the Slipp Inn.

Post slipp in, I had a great time getting lost in the knox-henderson neighborhoods with jenn. I can't stress enough how much I love all those old houses. I'll eventually make a post about it I'm sure...

England 1 - Ecuador 0


SO, Sunday morning, quite hung over, on give or take 3-4 hours of sleep, jenn and I hit up the England game at the londoner at a cheery-0 9:30am with standing room only. But what a game it was, with a bender by beckham on a penalty kick outside the box to take the game. Having had 4 guinesseseses during the game (gogo gadget drunk before noon) I found myself strangely free of my hangover and headed to Tool's place since Justin was in town. After watching some UFC, we checked out Click. I'm not going to lie, even despite my great enjoyment of happy-madison productions that actually include happy-madison himself, I was quite reluctant to see this movie. I knew it would be a wonderful life redux from the get-go, but maybe with hallucinatory penguins or characters missing body parts. Instead I was treated to a strong movie that captured the raw emotional crisis that made Wonderful Life so great. Don't get me wrong, this isn't Punch Drunk Love and is still a funny movie with some sandlerisms, but for the scenes that count adam sandler does a good dramatic job.

Then I went to sushi with rachems. $2 dolla make he holla. Not really, cause I'm stuffing my mouth with cheap sushi, but it certainly makes me mumble enthusiasticly.

Monday I cried as Italy flopped their way into the next round and sent australia home. (fuckin pussy italians) and went to the laundry as reported above. (and saw a DB9 next door, in garland!)

Ghana sadly was eleminated today, but they played an incredible game against Brazil. Though the score was 3-0, two of those points were on seriously questionable offsides calls and Ghana frequently dominated play throughout the game. Being a smaller draw than the US and England games, Jenn and I got the chance to view the game on the 96" HD. I... I don't know how to describe... I mean, there's so many words really, just look at the A's alone: awesome, amazing, artful... arrousing. Finely defined video turn me on, big deal. I'm going to have to seriously resist the HD bug once my job starts.

So after I got home from the game, my mom who had jury duty came home with lunch. As we sat there watching 70's reruns from the gameshow network my mom decided to nosey over into the land of the Carp. After a few beating around the bush questions, she inquired to my girl situation. Enjoying greatly toying with her silly curiosity I monosyllabicly answered her questions without my eyes leaving the TV. After about a minute of a silence she finally asks, "So that's it? You're not even going to throw me a crumb are you?" Well not to avoid a good imagery joke I had to answer with, "It's been so long since I've made out with someone, nevermind had sex or a relationship, there are no crumbs, this is a famine. If there was a crumb I'd soak it in water and suck the flavor'd juice back out, let it dry then soak it again" To which she replied exasperatedly, "*exasperated short sigh* you know, it just doesn't make sense, I mean you're cute... and socially acceptable." But you know, a mother's love is always biased.

With that I present my newest t-shirt design, and the first to be based on reality. (I know, I had hoped the StarSex would have been real by now too, but alas NASA isn't returning my phonecalls.) A hybrid of the time honor'd (and personal favorites) "Kiss me I'm Irish", and "My mom says I'm cool". Without further ado:





acceptably social,
me.

Thursday, June 22, 2006

well.... ...... fuck.

I'm not going to lie, its been a rough couple days. Normally being drunk before noon would cheer me up from anything, its why I keep a secret bottle of scotch for the apocalypse, but its just not working today. So... Mav's lost the series to the Heat in game 6, and then today the US was knocked out by Ghana. The thing is, bad officiating cost us in both series the points that resulted in our colletive elemination. Note I pay close attention to my choice of verbage, the Heat, Italy, Ghana, none of them should have had a chance and yet we played horrible and created the razor thin margin that one bad call could change the outcome. Bad calls may have given the crucial points, but why were there crucial points? Because we lost out right not by calls or skill but in spirit. Dirk was shut down by double and triple teams, that means our other guys have to step up and instead they threw an insane number of bricks, and even worse air balls. People can bitch about Wade and fouls all day, but he could shoot a hundred foul shots, if we had made even half our field shots we would have destroyed the Heat. Same with the USA, Ghana proved their merit in a hard fought match, meanwhile Donovan was practicly uninvolved in the Whole Cup. Arena also made some questionable calls about line up. I will say this though, McBride played great in all his games. The fact that he still has such tenacity after all these years is quite admirable. Also great job to Olsen. I hate when first stringers are playing bad and get replaced by first string alternatives who play the same way. From the second Olsen stepped on the field for reyna today he did nothing but kick ass all game. Defense and offense he was all over the place providing a back bone for the team to build on. Which to me is the greatest thing a midfielder can provide a team.


Congratulations to the Heat you played well and never gave up even in the face of defeat.

Good luck to Ghana, show the world what africa is made of. You've beat two of the top five teams in the world by one simple method: heart.

Italy.... fuck you and your vespas and canelloni. I hope our mates down under crush you.


with luck to ghana,
me.

Friday, June 09, 2006

THE Cup


GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL
LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL
LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


It has begun.

viva futbol,
mi.

on discs and fleas

So... as of late I've been pretty bored. Aside from hanging out with tool during his job transition I haven't had anything to do, which can be rather maddening. GRAW at tool's and rewatching Entourage (new season sunday!) had been the only things keeping me sane. At least until this week when I jumped back into ultimate, and fook have I missed it. Between that and working out each morning I've caught the endorphin bug and it feels good.

Speaking of bugs, I'd like to officially announce my triumph over the fleas. It was a hairy battle, I strove onward early with decisive victories in the outer realms of backyardia and the democratic republic of frontyardgo, but suffered crushing defeat at the first battle of insideloo. The carpet proved too formidable of a terrain for my miserly 3-bottle fogger army. With the chips down, and fleas biting I reached deep inside myself and found the magic, the constitution of heros within. The power to crush the flea army courtesy of 8 Raid fogger bottles. There's a reason las cucarachas always cried and then exploded into penciled dust in those 80s cartoon commercials. Go Raid or go home. It was flea armageddon, and as I stood over their bastard corpses I screamed, "mess with the best, die like the rest you jumpy bitches!". Then I apologized to carpet for spitting on him, but he was cool about it. Carpet's so fuckin chill. (what? so I'm so bored I've befriended the carpet, you want to fight about it?)

I've missed ultimate so much. I really didn't realize it till I was back out there playing. I feel so content and calm, almost zen-like, when I'm out there and I'm glad to be back in it.

high on endorphins,
me.