Regionals

Good luck to the DU team at regionals this weekend.

varrooooooom

So normally my blog posts are event driven, occasionally on a point of topic, and every once in a while a drunk rambling. But rarely are they just a synthesis of things and ideas running through my head. I guess that's cause people aren't really all that synthesisy. If we were, yelling Eureka and By George! would be lame and cliched. So... where was I, ah, synthesis so anyways a bunch of random things relating to cars of some form or another have popped up and have bounced thinking around so now I present, "Pointless Post: How posts without 'a point' have more point than life itself and drive market economies." by Michael Carpenter PhD-eezNutz.

I have to say, I am quite impressed with car companies. My entire life, bear in mind as a child from the 80s aka the box car era *shudder*, I have been dumbfounded by why companies can't make cool cars. For craps sake I drew cooler cars when I was 5 than most cars produced from 79-95. Even post 95 however cars still on a whole sucked and it was beyond me as to why. Why can only ferarri think hey lets put some ducts onthis to make it look fast? Body moldings can't be that expensive to just add an extra curve or two. Well that ofcourse spawned conspiracy theories... why? have I taught you nothing? the question why is always answered by conspiracy theory, it's a corrolary of the old adage 'the most obvious explanation is the most likely'. For example, "why don't I have a harem still?" "antiharem league conspiracy" "why didn't I make the AcDec team?" "MsLongisanevilbitchwhofakesbackpainforhandicapplatesstoopidwhore Foundation conspiracy" "Why did my computer crash?" "computer elf unions conspiracy theory" See? Ok.. so, in the wake of the past 2-3 years I can only assume the "Ugly people of america against being outshined by subthirtythousand autos, you know, UPAABOSA has fallen, the free thinking creativity loving rebel fighters of automaker uppermanagement must have finally over thrown those shadowy-autocrats. Caddillac? Sexy. Pontiac? Sexy. Saturn? hehe no seriously, bear with me here, sexy. Chrysler? (prowler didn't count they took it from plymouth), sexy. Ford? Sexy. Me? Dead Sexy. Chevy... well they can't all be great.

Parking at UTD SUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCKS. Hoover man was found dead in that fountain next to founders&johnson... ofcourse at first everyone just assumed he wandered to close or took a drink and the fountain got him, those dead squirells don't just die in the trees and fall in. But the autopsy revealed something quite darker, quite darker indeed, he was sucked dry. But why? Why would anyone want to kill a Hoover salesman? .... .... ... ahaha sharp as a tack you all are, and you are quite correct my brilliant students! Conspiracy! So much suckage, just imagine if one company could harnest such power. I suspect a DirtDevil henchmen, but it might go all the way to the top of GE. Ah, but fear not fellow 'intheknowians', you know, ITKs because I think The Founders forsaw such evil. Green:"By George men! We have perfected it, the ultimate equation of suckage" Johnson:"Eureeka! It's... it's so beautiful." McDermot:"Aye laddy tis that, but dark too, dark and beautiful. Such a thing au'never fall into the wroooong hands." Green:"He's right... we... we can change it, the suckage will still bemighty, but the true secret of it's power can be hidden..." Johnson:"It is so, upon our lives we swear to hide the secret of the suckage from the weakness that is mortals" Green:"I swear" McDermot:"Oy me too". And so it was that from 7am until 10 pm parking is of the utmost suckage except a small pocket of 3-4:15 before 4 o'clock class when parking is pleasent, cheerful, and secretly protects the universe from evil doers.

When I'm not actually cutting off old ladies trying to continue their education to gank a parking spot, I actually enjoy driving. Hehe, who am I kidding, I enjoy it even more then, gotta get quicker old people! Where.. ah, so I've noticed that I don't really just go drive anymore, and I'd imagine it has something to do with the fact that I don't enjoy driving as much anymore. But wh- Conspiracy, yup, I taught you well. I have had the joy beaten out of me by two sources, that are in fact conspiring. The first is the POPO. Bloody ass clowns have given me so many tickets that the joy of driving has been sucked out of me. The other part ofcourse is the car. It reminds me of Comfortable by John Mayer. I miss the shaggin wagon :( Sure the saturn has AC, no cracked windshields, a paintjob, radio, smiles for pictures that aren't being taken, and swears that she's artsy... but I miss the sheep shag seats, the leapord spotted roof, the ecentric electronics, the ability to do uturns by powersliding, the ability to just spin my car around for no reason at all, grey sweat pants, and no makeup. You know, it was comfortable. I guess you might say broken in... but really I just want her back. Unfortunately we sold her for 200 bucks on her death bed to a mexican fellow and his 9 year old translator. I'll just have to console my self with something insanely fast when I graduate. Then maybe I'll rediscover the love of the road. First stop will be the Beltline500.

And now kids for a story. This is the story of the duck car. Part car, part duck, all mystery. You see, the origins of the duck car are now hidden in time, time and poor resolution of camera phones. You see, it all started one nice spring day when the Rachems, myself, and Thomas (aka Jamas aka Jambi aka theChellanFromAnotherMellon) were having a festive lunch in the small ham of buckingham, purveyors or liquor and icehokey. When all of a sudden the sky turned black, thunderous clashes rang out, and a giant hole in the sky appeared. We rushed outside, was this it? The end of the world? Sure we were ready to die, but that day was not our time. Instead, the sky closed up, the sun shone through, and our eyes fell upon the Duck car. A horrific beauty that burned the retinas and destroyed faith in higherpowers. It was a dark beast for sure. Though no one dare attack it for fear of life and limb, it was most certainly invincible. Its hide was an impenatrable plastic and electrical tape, covered in deadly fins and spikes, and ofcourse all seeing eyes, resting firmly in a mallard's head grafted to the hood, almost certainly sacrificed in the cars creation. It was not long before our time with el coche del ducko came to an end, mostly cause of boredom and a bit of disallusion with camera phones... oh and the liquor store seductively calling our name. Though our time amongst such majesty and such evil was short, nay one of us shall soon forget that day. That is why my ears were a buzz with a call from the Rachem a few weeks prior to this very day about the Duck car resurfacing! But it was new! and improved! It now had spots! And the fins were now bondoed on. Could it be? Even mightier? I was left in a world of doubt for the longest week of my life. It was then that I saw her picking my brother up from band. She was even more beautiful and terrifying than I had remembered. I flogged myself for not thinking ofthis sooner, where else to find a magical car but at a magical place? I should have known to check Pancho's Mexican Buffet months ago. But Why? Why would a car, already so great spontaneously grow even greater? Mmmmmhmmmmm. I'm asking the wrong questions, it's not the why but the when and the where and the WHO! Unfortunately, I don't have this conspiracy figured out yet, which is why in the near future I intend to create a website, a clearing house of information if you will, of all info related to... El Coche Del Ducko. I think I'll call it duckcardallas.org or duckcardoesdallas.org that sounds sexy... but more typing... sexy vs lazy now there's a fight for pay per view. Maybe just elcochedelducko.org. Stay vigilant faithful followers, we will solve the Mystery of the Duck Car. (so help me god though, if it's another crooked real estate developer with a smoke machine and bedsheet.. I think I'll flip)

Notice how it's near perfect camoflage makes the car practicly invisible without photo enhancement?


Let not the pixels fool you, lest ye be it's next prey.


trust no one,
me.

Ring a ding ding

I love learning. No no wait, bear with me hear. (teehee) Don't let my bitching and moaning about school mislead you... because school is definitely not on a whole associated with learning. It is? oh... well it isn't in my mind. But anywho when I discover a new place, or learn a new thing I can't help but get a grin cause it tickles my brain... I guess you could describe it like a koala crapping a rainbow in my head. So... the source of this multicolored archway in my cranium? The Cavern and Speedballs. Rachem and I hit up the Cavern on Sunday which I really digged. We went with some people from the Londoner to see a Sinatra cover artist whose name escapes me at the moment. The lounge portion is evidently upstairs on top of a new gypsytearoom/trees alternative bar/venue, however, since it has it's own entrance and stairs I didn't see what the venue portion looks like. The guy was a solid Frank cover artist including oldschool lounge style intersong banter. Mmmmm punchlines.... Most of my favorites were covered including the lady is a tramp and world on a string. No 'my way' but we did get there late so who knows. Highlight of the night was when the guy mentioned Laura Miller between songs and a girl at the table on the other side of the room remarked, "who's laura miller?" Classic. After that we headed over to New Amsterdam Coffee House at fair park where I endured my second cerebral lucky charms annurism, Speedballs. Suffice it to say Guiness+espresso rocks my world, rocks it sexy. What's odd is I'm really not a fan of coffee but the guiness absorbs the edge leaving a complex smooth taste and hair raising caffeine. Pictures! I forgot to take any at the Cavern but here's one from NACH.



And then here's one that's evil... or what it would look like had it been a real amsterdam coffee house. Definitely Evil. Except rachel... I mean, still evil cause it's rachels naturally (doubt it? oh I have rachel pictures that will burn a hole in your soul), but not outright. She has this "I'm just a little possesed girl who pushes people down stairs, protect me superdemons" look. Or a sexy comehither "come play with me and jenn big boy... forever and ever and ever eyyeeeeehahhahahhahah" look.

Beware ye of faint heart!

sittin' on a rainbow,
me.

Havest moon

Happy mid-autumn!!!! Man the moon this weekend was incredible, early in the night on Saturday it seems to defract light through jet streams making them look 3-4 times thicker than normal and flat. So the moon was huge in the bottom sky and had like what looked like ribbons wrapped around it. Then at around 3a.m. I stepped out and the moon was now high in the sky and had an aura in the clouds that took up the entire night sky. This giant ring literally started just above the roof tops and encircles all the way to the edge of my own house. Unfortunately the pictures didn't come out too well, but here's my favorite.



wide eyed,
me.

Confirmation hearings

Don't really know what to say about this so far. On the one hand, the democrats keep beating a dead bush with 'quotes' from John Robert's memos from over 20 years ago. Which is rediculous really because a) those memos/papers were written under the employment of a political agency and b) it was over 20 years ago. Which brings us to the counter point, the senate was denied recent documents and so they really don't have too much recent material to use so it's really their fault. (how a high level senate committee can be denied documents is beyond me btw) My impressions so far is that John Roberts is an ethical, fair individual with unbelievable experience in constitutional law. But who knows, Iraq had weapons of mass destruction so I can't help but always feel 2 steps away from being hoodwinked with the current administration.

disillusioned,
me.

David Ryan Harris concert

Friday was the David Ryan Harris concert and it was incredible. This is what both Wen and I imagined the RachelYamagata & RayLaMontagne concert would have been. The crowd was small, (maybe 50 people) and the band just walked in through the front door and hung out occasionally at the bar before the show. Opening for drh was Sam Thacker a new artist I had never heard of but turned out to be really good. The best thing about the show was it's mix of music which reminded me a lot of a john mayer show. The music would transition from bluesy rock to slow singer/songwriter songs, etc. On that note, the band supporting drh is actually John Mayer's band while he works on his side project. It was an interesting night with the pictures, by the end ithink I finally found a way to take pictures without a tripod in the dark of concerts. So that's why there aren't too many pics on this one. Pictures below, videos coming soon...





rockin out with my... well you know,
me.

Joel in town

So Joel was in town last weekend, so this is a bit late but we hit up Sushi Awaji and then Dukes. It was a really good time and I both miss and don't miss dukes.

Some pics...







commentless,
me.

theyyyyyy're heeeeeeeere

So, the past two days have been a marathon run of the first two seasons of the4400. This show is definitely one of my new favorite shows and I can't wait for season3. Without giving too much a way, over the past 60 years people who have been 'abducted' suddenly return all at once in a ball of light with powers for unclear reasons. Kind of a mix of x-men (like the overarching mutant storyline), revelations (bible), that Visitor show with the dude from northern exposure/sex in the city, and ofcourse one of my favorite from 90s syndication: Earth Final Conflict. I have season 1 if anyone wants to borrow it and season2 on my tivo.

the truth is out there,
me.

To All the Girls I Loved Before

Man nothing blows donkey balls like having that song pop into your head only to realize you don't have that song anymore... well I wouldn't say nothing, there wasthis one time at bandcamp in mexi- this isn't the right blog for that story. That's right Wyclef does in fact start with a W, which does in fact fall in the last third of the alphabet, which is in fact the third I couldn't save from my hard drive as it cackled (some would call it spring noises) at me and took a sabatical in shottyville. You know, it's in crapIFUCKINGHATECOMPUTERSola county. When I'm rich, I'm going tojust hunt down the makers of shitty hard drives and of spyware and beat them with a belt. It's called comeuppance, and it's coming for you bitches. as soon as i'm rich.

crying tears or radnessge, (yup, I've invented a new feeling)
me.

p.s. I always thought when I was little and had a big vocabulary but couldn't spell or understand/speak english that the word was comemuppets (e in hte middle is silent) like you could summon the muppets to do your evil bidding... like the two cranky balcony fellows and animal would make this destructo team and feast on bones... or fuzzy would tell hisbad jokes and torture you to death.... who am I kididng, fuzzy's jokes were awesome! I miss themuppets. I miss being a kid. I miss a time when computers didn't exist, and the only thing that crashed on me was my couch cushion fort.

defending the livingrooms from foreign heathens,
me.
(yeah i signed my p.s. so what... you want to fight about it?)

the return of uuuuggggghhhhhhh

I'm never drinking again...

at least till I feel better.

uuuuggggghhhhhhh

So we went to dinner tonight at Tong's, then went and got ice cream at Marble Slab. I've had better ideas... like sticking my wang in a pencil sharpener or putting my beer in my pocket upside down so I can have both hands to do stand-up comedy. Seriously though, what was I thinking? Grease+fat+sugar+dairy = dogshumpinginapark, no no wait, bare with me here. Like warm and fuzzy and throbbing.. and a little sickening... not like imediate upfront, but somewhere.. in the back of your mind you're just like ewwww.

Which means I can only conclude that dogs are in fact humping in my stomach.

mildy terrfied,
me.

So much for syndication...

Welp, sorry Chris Carter but Katrina is going to destroy and date the x-files from here on out. In the wake of current events the idea that FEMA will sieze control of the country in an alien attack/natural disaster is... well I'll let you dear readers(haha?) decide what but implausible is the best case word to use. (I'd use inane or insane or lame...)

I don't understand the sluggish response, but this is what I imagine 9/11 would have looked like (in feeling, not scope/size/etc) had we not had Giulani. Someone needs to take charge and give a clear voice and direction to the situation. (and it needs to be a higher up because the local govt is a mess)

befuddled,
me.