My lions pillow

So yesterday I meant to wash all my sheets and such. But I'm random, and lazy and forgot until I was ready to crash. Now initially I was pissed because I was tired, and my Zelda/Mario pillow case was downstairs underthreat of being washed with bleech, but my mood quickly changed after rummaging through the linnen closet. After digging through ocean and flower patterns I happened upon my lion pillow case. Much like my previous post, a flood of memories was suddenly triggered by this pillow case. It was one of my favorites growing up, and has on it two lions in the jungle with a cub. They kind of look like they're posing for a picture out on a hunting trip. Needless to say I was excited. After making my bed, which I think I despise more than any other task in the world, I stood at the foot of my bed doing that little billow thing with the top sheet. Looking down at the pillow case from afar my attention was kind of drawn to different things than you notice upclose. The left big lion, for example, was overly preoccupied with a butterfly on his nose, and the right lion had a little too jovial smile going on, then the cub seemed to almost be looking at them a little confused... butterfly lion... titter lion... confused cub... butterfly.... titter... conf-... oh my god my pillow is gay!

It hit me like a lightning bolt, they weren't on a bloody hunting trip! Male lions don't hunt, they fight to the death for dominance of the pride! These guys clearly aren't fighting for dominance, though there is some pride... and I'm sure they get plenty of mane on mane action... but not to the death. (teeeheehee, if I get any more punny I'm going to need a put a warning lable on my blog) And the cub! That's not an apprentice hunter, that's their supreme court baby-cub.


mildly disallusioned,
me.

dinosaurs!

So... I was going to make a blog post about my so called angry life, how I hate computers with a passion even though I've more or less dedicated almost half my life to them, how much bullshit it is that my tv card can actually flash itself at random, how the drivers and PVR software, which has been out for 4+ years doesn't have a simple fix to let you to set your current bullshit eprom instead of the fix, which involves flashing it from DOS. The only tool that can flash the card was written in DOS. That's like the fire hose instructions being written in sankrit. And what's worse, since I don't have a floppy they're written in sankrit and my wang just got cut off blinding me with tears of excruciating pain. That's about when I got the virus... so 3 days later I feel betrayed by my love, jilted if you will, so I was going to write a blog post about that... but then I decided against it because I was soothed. Then a commercial came and the I had a anger rising RISING moment and I guess I sort of did write a small post.

But what soothed me? Jurrasic Park on bravo. I totally forgot how much I loved that movie. It's almost freaky how I had totally forgot to the point of blacking out.... worlds best enhancing bra mmmmmm... soooo hot want to touch the hiney. Yeah, so distracting victorias secret commercials aside... I forgot how much I loved that movie. My favorite field trip was always to the science place to see the dinosaur robots. I read the book twice, saw the movie countless times, I even made my parents change our eating habbits so I could get all the different cups from mcdonalds.... I was a dork. I don't know why I was compelled to put this in a blog... if only there was a way to erase this, if only.

nerdasauras rex,
me.

better than computer nerd, fucking computers

El Dia del Muerte, Febuary 14th

Ah death day, also referred to by The Man as valentines day. I despise this day, and it sucks even harder when your broke and can't afford to booze right through it.

Some food for thought.

(1) Love may be beautiful, love may be bliss
But I only slept with you, because I was pissed.

(2) I thought that I could love no other
Until, that is, I met your brother.

(3) Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you.
But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl's empty
and so is your head.

(4) Of loving beauty you float with grace
If only you could hide your face.

(5) Kind, intelligent, loving and hot;
This describes everything you are not.

(6) I want to feel your sweet embrace
But don't take that paper bag off of your face.

(7) I love your smile, your face, and your eyes -
Damn, I'm good at telling lies!

(8) My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife:
Marrying you screwed up my life.

(9) I see your face when I am dreaming.
That's why I always wake up screaming.

(10) My love, you take my breath away.
What have you stepped in to smell this way?

(11) My feelings for you no words can tell,
Except for maybe "go to hell".

(12) What inspired this amorous rhyme?
Two parts vodka, one part lime.

Merry death day to all and to all a good blight,
me.

The closest thing to explosive eDiarrhea

Or is it i-Diarrhea.... things to ponder. I would think the concept of diarrhea is a bit too much for apple minamalism, who has a good lock on the i nameology, so definitely e. What the hell am I talking about? A blog post! One in which, if you do the math, it has been 4 months of build up for one big post, hence the explosive motiff... well and obviously a build up isn't going to make it any less crap. Get it? Crap... I'm so semipunny.


So campout! Hehe yeah I know it's been a long time. But I got a shyte load of great pictures, so I should make a post. The campout was fun, including the traditional lake run, campfire punch, and all sorts of tomfoolery. I took a bunch of pictures, so I'll try to put those all up on a photobook. Saturday we had a good time taking pictures and skipping rocks on the water.

Sexy ladies:


Water Run:


See all the pics here:
http://photos.yahoo.com/escapismc
If you want full resolution copy of any of the pics just aim/email meh.

So halloween, I came, I saw, I conquered. I'm not the conquering type? Well you're not a... type! Haha! You're nothing, a blank slate of... (sorry? don't insult the readers? hmm... I guess we can go with that for now) so moving on, I conquered by way of my alter ego... the meatwad. I say alter, because people have frequently pointed out that despite my undying love and admiration for the magnificent ball of meat, that my laziness induces certain very shakelike behavioral patterns of conning, manipulating, and all around tomfoolery. More so, that my intelligence, skepticism, and worship of the intangible fair and moral right invokes more frylike qualities than those de la carne. But! All of those are exhibited by meatwad but under a knownothing guise executed with masterful comedic timing much like myself... stop it! stop laughing! boy I will shank you. How did a post about halloween become a deconstruction of ATHF personalities? It was four damn months ago! I'm a little fuzzy on the details, so I'm fluffing. Wait no... that's not right, filling with fluff... is that evev any better? So, the construction of the suit was one of epic proportions, much like the pyramids, or the great wall, or Epcot Center. Mostly like Epcot center since as you can see, they have very similar construction. After a shyte load of sewing, glewing, and inking it was finally finished. And my already insane sexappeal was shot through the roof.


Now all was going great, with my 11.5 of 10 sex appeal... except the one thing I didn't anticipate. Candles. My archnemesis.


Turns out, nothing can defeat 11.5 sex appeal unless said sex appeal might have been artificially enhanced by glue, nylon fabric, and foam. Spicy flaming meatball fears aside, the party was exciting. However, if you are in a giant meatwad costume, and find yourself stuck inside with a desperate urge to pee, make sure no one has a camera.


Pictures:
A priest, a cutie, and a englishman walk into a party...


Hotties!


Epcot Construction...


Next morning I enjoyed hanging out with dubcheck on the rachems patio listening to some of his crazy stories. It would have been akward but luckily I was too drunk at the previous party to remember very clearly his nude parade through the room oh so close to my face. Good times.

Halloween Photos: If you want any full rez copies let me know
http://photos.yahoo.com/escapismc

So a little while back I was watchign King of the Hill and it was the quizbowl episode where Bobby joins the quizbowl team. It brought back a lot of memories, and it's amazing how well mike judge nails nuances right on the head. From the caffeine overload, to the way information blurs together. The wall covered with study papers, sad but true. You go mr. judge.

Now is time for bloggal intermission: For this we'll run through a quick annecdote. So on my samsung e105 phone it has the T9 software which uses predictive text to try and determine what the most likely word choice for 3874 actually is. It was a sunny day, cool temp, the bees and birds were doing their bees and birds thing. I always thought that was wierd, bees and the birds... I just don't see how the birds fit in. I can understand bees, given the conservative tradition in america's past it fits well as a very very abstract representation and metaphor that might have been used for explaing sexufied sexy things to youngins. But where the hell did the birds come from? I've had cockatiels and trust me, there's nothing conservative about two birds fuckin. An awe inspiring miracle of balance? Yes. A nice abstract euphamism of sex? No. Birds get down. In fact, I should integrate that into my vernacular... "You see those two? they'lre all over each other" "Yup, like a stack of birds" Awesome. This is going to be a trend, I'll be the stack of birds guy... how the hell did I get... ah,so it was a sunny day. And I hit 23 on my phone. Now, a quick inspection of your phone reveals that 23 happens to contain the characters of be. Yup, the verb of existence itself. But yet, what does T9 give you? 23. That's right, T9, and I would say rightfully so, chooses Jordan's jersey number over existence. And that, ladies, gents, and ladygents (hey I'm an equal oppurtunity blogger) rocks the casbar. This is the longest damn interlude ever. :P No wait, intermission.

So christmas and new years were pretty cool this year. I kind of did them both off the cuff and hung out with random people. So here's a pic of christmas eve on my dad's side of la familia. I couldn't get a wide enough shot to get everyone, so this is really only 80% of the people, which is why Carpenter family gatherings are an at best daunting possibly even terrifying experience for girlfriends.
**edit: After being questioned, this is my immediate family per se, a family reunion is at least twice as big, and even this nuclear shot in addition to missing the 20% not in the picture is also missing the oregon crew which numbers like 9 or so, and a few others. **

Goot dimes.

This... is the best baby ever.
http://www.metacafe.com/watch/32450/laughter/
Seriously, almost makes me want to have kids.... almost.

The only good thing to come out of warcraft other than Leeroy Jenkins:
curtis armstrong is the fookin bomb. While it's understandable if the name doesn't immediately ring a bell, his characters will. Most prominantly as Booger in revenge of the nerds. It is simply astounding to see how many movies and tv rolls he's played in the past two decades. My hat is off to you good sir, follower of the oddball, and master of the character method.

So what have I been doing since graduating? Not a damn thing, and it's starting to get old so I'm finally turning up the speed on finding a job. The Google position fell through which sucks, but to reference one of my favorite dave lyrics. "Cause I blindly throw my faith to the face Of the next good thing that comes my way". If you have a job lead, that perferably pays well and is doing something cool (I'm not picky right?) hit me up.

So, I've created another new word, this time for almost a new concept no less. Beloguered, the act of having a blog post so far behind that it literally becomes so beleaguered by lazyness you doubt if you'll ever finish it. Three days here.

So when you spend a shyte load of time writting a blog, you tend to channel surf a lot to pass the time and make your posting process even longer. And that is how I happened upon the House of Commons' broadcast on cspan. I can honestly say I haven't been so entertained in a very long time, and the House of Commons broadcast is my new favorite show on TV. I could seriously watch that all damn day.

In addition to the house of commons, I've also spent a good bit of time watching CurrentTV. For those who don't have the network or haven't watched it, it's basicly a network that's ran off of user submitted and indie 'pods' which are short videos, scripted, off the cuff, documentaries, etc. For my long time readers (5 months is a long time! especially to be reading this crap) you know that I have a huge appreciation for spoken word and slams, and love def poetry jam. While watching Current I came across this pod and I highly recommend everyone watch it: At 13. Good stuff.

11.5 out of 10 sexys,
me.